It Takes Two
by CoconutsAndJelly
Summary: Having accidentally ended up in Fred's bed after the most awkward wedding of the century, Hermione battles an awful assistant and a growing baby bump as she navigates the way through unplanned pregnancy.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! I would like to let you know I am posting this for the sole reason of finding a beta-reader. If you're interested, PM me, if not just read along and enjoy. Review please as that tends to fuel my fire - I can get a bit procrastinate-y sometimes.

Thanks again.

* * *

Elven wine in hand, Hermione gazed across the small but raucous Weasley-Brown reception, propping herself up on the bar by her elbow.

There were many things better left unsaid at her ex's wedding, but Molly Weasley was never good at leaving things be, meaning Hermione had been subjected to hours of the proud matriarch's awkward observations.

"Oh Hermione, isn't Lavender so beautiful?"

"Yes Molly, very."

"It could have been you, couldn't it? Mrs Hermione Weasley. If only you hadn't gotten so involved in your work…" she would trail off, looking pointedly at the silver bracelet that rested on her slight wrist, the healers' symbol of St. Mungo's glinting. It seemed that Mrs Weasley was determined to forget the fact that _she_ had been the one to leave Ron, not the other way around.

"Yes Molly, of course."

"Oh well, we'll find you someone yet, won't we dear. Though you best be hurrying about it, you're not getting any younger, are you?"

"No Molly," she would nod, seething internally. She was twenty-three, not fifty!

"My Ronald, finally settled down with a nice young girl!"

God she was a pain. Hermione knew she meant well, but considering this was her fifth glass of wine - at least she thought it was her fifth glass - it perhaps wasn't going as well as Molly seemed to think it was. It was actually a lot worse than that, she thought as she eyed up an unopened bottle of gin sitting on the bar shelf.

"And just how drunk are you?"

She didn't bother to look round, not recognising the voice entirely, but having an idea.

"Ron?"

"I'm not Ron," whoever it was laughed, helping her to her feet, "I best get you home Granger."

"If you're not Ron…" she said curiously, before turning to see his familiar cheeky grin, "Oh, you."

"Oh, alright then, if you don't want to speak to me," he huffed mockingly, starting to walk away.

"No wait," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back, their faces suddenly very close.

"Hermione," he sighed, putting a hand on her cheek, "You're drunk."

"Not drunk enough to regret this."

"Regret what?"

She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him toward her, crushing their lips together as the deep scent of the Firewhisky he'd been drinking in celebration hit her nostrils, "That."

"Alright, you're coming with me," he chuckled, kissing her chastely before apperating them both.

* * *

Hermione groaned as the morning birds invaded her subconscious, scrunching her eyes in an attempt to keep to the sunlight out. She still felt quite groggy from yesterday and it was a good job she'd got Mondays off as there was no way she was getting into the hospital today.

Irritated by the brightness of the light behind her eyelids, she went to turn away, but froze immediately as a hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to the very warm, very naked body she'd obviously slept with the night before. Now she knew two things: the foggy memory of last night probably included drunken ramblings to some poor bugger she'd pulled into her bed and she had to get out of there quickly before he woke up.

Forcing her eyes open, she managed to fully open both only to see something entirely different to her own flat. The large window that was usually by the side of her bed was around half the size and there was a chest of draws underneath it where her wand was laying.

'Where the hell am I?' she thought, testing the anonymous arm to see if she'd been released. Sliding out of his grasp, she stood up. She could see her bra hanging on the curtain pole and went over to them, reaching up and grabbing it quickly, then bending down to pick up her dress.

'Now all I need is my wand,' she thought looking around, 'Where did I put it? Ah!'

Hermione had a desperate urge to apperate away as she saw the blinking eyes of Fred Weasley looking over to her, but she needed her knickers.

'Merlin, where are they? He's waking up!' she worried, scrabbling round the room for them. She heard a chuckle and turned to the bed where he was sitting up, his toned chest distracting her for a second before she snapped out of it to look at his smug face as he twirled the lacy black knickers on one finger.

"Looking for these Granger?"

"Give them back, Fred," she warned, stepping toward him, her wand stretched out, "Give them or so help me, I'll-"

"You'll what? Shag my brains out again?"

"Stop being an arse about it," she huffed, crossing her arms and looking away, still feeling awkward about the whole affair, "We were drunk, but trust me it's certainly not happening again."

"Oh really? I seem to remember you wanted it 'all night, every night'," he winked, standing up and grabbing his boxers as she squeaked and turned away, "Oh please you've seen it all," he stalked toward her as she held her hands over her eyes and whispered into her ear, "and felt it all."

"Yeah, well it was a mistake, wasn't it?" she said, ignoring the tingling heat of his breath as he went to find his trousers, "All your bloody mother's fault."

"You shagged me because my mother told you to?" he laughed, "That's weird, even for you Granger."

"Will you stop calling me Granger Fred," she moaned.

"How do you know it's not George?"

"Please, it's so easy to tell the difference," she said, rolling her eyes as she took her thumb and traced it over his left eyebrow slowly, "You have a small scar right here."

They both paused as her honey eyes met his, but she quickly averted them and stepped away, "And, you know, you do have both ears too."

"Ah yes, my ears," Fred said, ignoring the slight redness of his face as he watched her look for her knickers - the same knickers he had stuffed in his back pocket, somewhat of a souvenir, "Glad to know you can tell the difference. It means you won't be going after my twin next time you need a piece of my amazing body."

"Fred for Merlin sake, it was just a one-time thing, because I'd had about two bottles' worth of elven wine and was sitting alone at my ex boyfriend's wedding as _your_ bloody mother told me all about how I was too old to find a husband and that basically I was going to die alone."

"Surely she didn't-"

"Oh, isn't it too bad that you'll never be Mrs Hermione Weasley, isn't Lavender so pretty, much nicer than you are, leaving my Ronald all alone," Hermione mimicked, growling at the grin on Fred's face, "Yeah, no, Molly really wasn't saying anything at all to me."

"Well, you could be a Weasley yet, there's still me and George, Charlie," he said, sitting down on the bed, "Hell, even Percy's available if you're that desperate."

"George is seeing Angelina and Percy's got Audrey," she pointed out, checking under the duvet, "Charlie's determined to be the eternal bachelor and we'd never work; we're complete opposites."

"Hey, you could steal Percy away," he wiggled his eyebrows, "Who wouldn't want a stuffy, arrogant ministry drone as a husband?"

"You never take anything seriously, do you?" she said, giving up on finding her pants and taking her wand out, "I'm going. You best not tell anyone about this, Fred. It's not something I usually do, alright?"

"Yes Ma'am," he said, saluting with his left hand, "Not a word."

"Not even to George," she warned, pointing her wand at him, "If Ron or Mrs Weasley found out…"

"Yeah, don't think Ron would be too happy. Mum would either congratulate us or call you a 'scarlet woman' again."

"Right, I'll see you and George tonight at the Burrow for dinner," she nodded to herself, preparing to apperate.

"Oh, and Hermione?" she looked up to him as he winked, "You're great in bed, love."

* * *

With a pop she was gone and Fred just stared at where she had been for a few seconds before getting up.

'Well that was surreal. Imagine if mum knew I'd' shagged little miss prefect,' he thought, getting up and heading out of his room, past George's room and into the kitchen, 'Ooh, how about a poached egg? Can I make a poached egg?'

Whatever he and Hermione had done the night before, it had definitely tired him out. He sniggered at that and grabbed the battered, slightly rusty pan from under the counter, filling it with a quick aguamenti and tapping it quickly as it began to boil, steam clouding around the hob.

"Everything is great, everything is grand, I've got the wizarding world in the palm of my hand," he hummed as he cooked up some toast. He heard the quiet steps of his brother coming down the hall and called without looking, "Do you want some eggs, Forge?"

"Why not," he smiled, coming to sit at the table, "So, who was it that put you in this good mood?"

"No one," he denied, trying to hold down his smug feeling, "Er, just a good wedding."

"A good wedding. Hmm…" George said, looking suspiciously as Fred jigged around the room, plating up their breakfast, "I seem to remember there weren't many single witches around yesterday."

"Just leave it," Fred frowned, putting his twin's plate in front of him and coming to sit across from him with his own. He knew that George could quite quickly work out it was Hermione from yesterday's guest list - what with Ron only wanting a family affair - and he really wanted to respect her wishes. Also, he was starting to feel a little bit guilty about the fact that he was far more sober than her and it felt like he'd somewhat taken advantage of that fact.

"There was Audrey, but she was Percy's date and you wouldn't steal a bloke's date - even if it was Percy; Luna was definitely snogging Longbottom under the buffet table by the end of the night, so that's her out of the way; Pavarti Patil is to no one's taste, not even after a bottle of Odgen's finest; and aunt Muriel-"

"Please, just stop," he sighed, "It's really not a good idea."

There was a slight lapse as George thought hard and Fred fought the blush rising to his face as his brother's filled with realisation, "No!"

"Yes," he grumbled, ignoring George's shock.

"No? Please no! And at Ron's wedding?"

"Yes, yes, I'm a complete arse," he said, chomping on his toast grumpily.

"Just how drunk was she?" George chuckled, unable to imagine their little 'Mione doing anything remotely dirty.

"Hey, there's no need to be mean! But yeah, she was pretty trollied," he said.

"You're in so much trouble when mum finds out!"

"Well she doesn't have to, does she?" he said intently, raising his eyebrows in question, "Look we were both legless, but it wasn't forced and we're not planning on doing it again, so…"

"Alright, I'll say nothing," George agreed, before smirking, "So, how was she?"

"To be quite honest it's all a bit blurry," he admitted sheepishly, "But she's an amazing snog."

"Right, so is this going to get awkward when we go for Sunday dinner now, or what?"

"I don't think so," Fred shrugged, "I mean, it was just one night."

"Yeah, nothing's going to come of it," George agreed, "Just don't mention it to anyone and I'm sure you'll forget about it soon."

Fred nodded absently and returned to his abandoned breakfast, his mind wandering to the warm comfort of Hermione's slim figure against him in his bed. He hadn't imagined it'd happen with his little brother's know-it-all best friend, but this was the first time waking up to a witch snuggled in his arms had been something he'd wanted to repeat - though he'd never tell anyone that.

* * *

Mrs Weasley bustled round the kitchen preparing dinner and bobbing along to the wireless. A huge pot simmered on the stove and her chopping board was full of chopped up carrots as pea pods shelled themselves into two bowls. A flick toward the cupboard and a large saucepan flew toward the veg as the carrots and peas hopped in and the final pods deposited their peas into the pan.

Ron and Lavender wouldn't be here as they were in Spain for their honeymoon. Bill would be arriving back from the bank in time for dinner, Charlie was at home anyway, Fred and George had owled to say the joke shop was closed because of the wedding so they could come over, Ginny was coming with Harry and Percy was even bringing Audrey to join the family for supper. Hermione was coming alone as usual.

Molly did feel quite bad about what she had implied at the reception. In retrospect, she knew there wasn't anything wrong with Hermione for being single and she knew that her and Ron made the right decision in splitting up, it was just that she was such a special girl, and she knew that if she even tried to find a nice man to settle down with, she could have a family and bring the kids round. It would be like having more grandchildren - she was an honorary Weasley just as much as Harry was, even though neither of them would be Weasleys by name now.

She waved her wand as the back door opened and the water in the pots vanished, leaving the potato to be mashed in the pot and allowing the vegetables to settle in a bowl on the table. She then set down her knitting and moved to the potatoes.

"Hey mum," she glanced back from her mashing to see her two eldest sitting down at the table, Bill smiling over to her.

"Oh dears, how lovely it is to have you both at home," she sighed, finishing off the mash and scooping it into another bowl, "Will one of you grab the dish from the oven?"

"Is smells delicious, mum," Charlie told her, getting up to help, "What're we having?"

"Toad in the hole."

"Isn't that Hermione's favourite?" Harry asked as he joined them at the table, Ginny following close behind.

"Oh mum, what've you said?" she frowned, knowing her mother only made someone's favourite if she'd done something wrong.

"Nothing, nothing," Molly waved her off, putting the large dish on the table, "I just felt like making something special for her."

Just then, Hermione popped into the room, frowning at the scrumptious meal on the table, "Oh Molly, you didn't need to do this, I knew you were only worried."

"Do what dear?" Molly played innocent, sitting down just as the twins strolled in with Arthur.

"Molly, I may not be a Weasley, but I know what it means when my favourite meal is on the table and it's not my birthday," she laughed, shaking her head at the sheepish look on the normally stern and in-control matriarch, "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll find someone."

"You never know Granger," they all looked over to George as he sat across from her, a glint in his eye, "Your knight in shining armour may be sitting at this very table. Or maybe a court jester, perhaps?"

"Ah George, ever the joker," she said, forcing a smile as Mrs Weasley grabbed Fred and forced him down in the seat next to her, gritting out, "Just like that gobby brother of yours."

"Now everyone, tuck in!"

Hermione piled a small amount of everything onto her plate, whispering harshly, "I thought we weren't telling anyone."

"I didn't," he bit back, "He is my twin, 'Mione."

She didn't reply, stabbing a piece of sausage with her fork and looking down.

"So Fred, where did you head off to last night?" Charlie said, both of them looking up to him with glares on their faces, "Actually, I didn't see much of you either, Hermione."

"Er, I went home early!"

"I took her home early," they replied at the same time, both glancing to each other before looking back to a confused Charlie.

Everyone looked up from their conversations to the two. Hermione elbowed Fred to keep him quiet and said, "What we meant was, Fred took me home because I'd had a few drinks, but I believe he went back to the party once I was home."

"No, actually I went home as well."

"But Hermione I flooed you this morning and there was no answer," Ginny added.

"Oh, er, well-"

"I put a silencing charm her room," Fred interjected, "I thought she needed the rest."

"Oh, okay."

The others turned back to their own conversations and the two went back to their meals, ignoring the awkwardness between them. Hermione didn't want to look up from her plate to him, but she really wanted to make sure he knew she was serious about this. Molly had only just gotten over the face she wasn't planning on marrying her precious Won-Won, never mind seducing one of her only single children.

Fred, however, was more worried about the look in Charlie's eye. He was definitely suspicious and there was no way he was letting this go before he got every single detail. Charlie was one of Fred and George's favourite brothers along with Bill, but he could sniff out gossip from miles away and there was only one way to get him to leave it alone: ignore him till he went back to Romania. Then he and 'Mione could get back to normal and go back to being friends.

"Look, we never talk about this again. It never even happened," she blushed lightly.

"What never happened?"

"Exactly. It never happens again," she nodded, looking over to see him grinning, "What're you so happy about?"

"It can't happen again if it never happened in the first place."


	2. Chapter 2

Still looking for a beta, guys! Hope this is a good insert. I might not be posting for a bit 'cause i've got exams now but I may do - so keep an eye out. If you know anyone who beta reads, go ahead and contact them for me if you think they'd be up for it.

Em.

* * *

"Maisie, do you think you could take Mrs Cauwell over to spell damage?" Hermione asked her assistant, sending the woman hurriedly over to the desk where the Welcome Witch was sitting. Apparently her husband had mixed up the colour change and the growth charm, and now her toenails were stretching out rapidly having ripped through her shoes.

"Er, why can't you?" the young girl said, raising her eyebrow but not taking her eyes off the article on Katy Potion's affair with the the lead singer of Wand Direction.

"Maisie, can you not argue today," she sighed, looking down at her protean'd clipboard that was filled with all sorts of weird maladies, starting with two cases of Scrofungulus on the second floor, "For once, just do what we pay you for."

"You know I talk about you behind your back, right?"

It was ironic that the sign above the desk read "_Our Welcome Witch will be happy to assist you,_"… but she didn't have time for the antics of the little celebrity-obsessed girl she'd gotten stuck with on the first floor.

Maisie Buttermere was tall and slender, with fair skin and blue zombie-like eyes. She had very plump lips that were usually slathered in the latest Wonder Witch product and Hermione swore she'd never seen her with any emotion on her face; she was only happy when her gossipy friend from the admissions office came down on her lunch break. Her very long, straight blonde hair was always an issue between the two, Hermione wanting her to keep it up so it was out of the way, Maisie never really caring. Hermione knew she had to have some semblance of intelligence - what with managing to place a permanent colour change charm on her uniform to make it bright pink - but really her attitude made it impossible to feel anything but irritated around her.

"Oh my Merlin, Hermione, drop dead! I wish you weren't even born!" she scowled, walking off quickly, leaving the poor woman behind her to hobble after her.

"Miss Granger, they really need you in Magical Bugs and Diseases; someone's got the invisibility flu and they can't find him anywhere!"

"Alright, tell them I'm coming up now," she sighed, flicking her wand to her hair as it wrapped itself into a loose plait at the side of her head before heading up to the two flights of steps to the most dangerous ward in the hospital.

Magical Bugs and Diseases was where anyone with a contagious malady was kept. Because of the risk to the healers working with these patients, they all had to go through the entrance with protection enchantments that would stop anyone who was at risk from entering to keep them out of danger - though she'd never actually found out who that was. She barely ever went there but when she did, things tend to escalate pretty quickly.

Usually she only worked in Spell Damage, but they were completely overwhelmed today and needed all the help they could get. Hermione went to step through the door, only to be pushed back again.

"What in the-" she paused as she was rejected again, the ward glowing red. Deciding the wards must be faulty, she called over one of the regular healers she knew from inside, "Carmen? Is there something wrong?

"What do you mean, Hermione? Something wrong with what?" she asked, stepping through the ward to speak to her.

"I can't seem to get through the door, it keeps on turning red," she said, trying to get through again to explain, "I just- it doesn't make any sense. I've never had any trouble before."

"Er, when was the last time you came to this ward?"

"About three weeks ago, why?"

"Well," the girl looked nervously around the corridor before pulling her into an alcove, "The only people that aren't allowed onto this ward are young children and people, you know…"

"No, I don't know," Hermione huffed, annoyed at the usually straight-talking witch's evasion, "Who else?"

"People, er, carrying young children," she said, motioning with her head obviously, her eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

"You mean-" Hermione gasped, touching her stomach that was covered by her lime-green healers robes.

"I can't be sure," she sighed, shrugging her shoulders and looking apologetic, "I could give you the potion if you'd like?"

"Could you check the charms again?" Hermione pleaded, "I mean, they could be broken, couldn't they?"

"The wards don't change Hermione," Carmen frowned, "They've been permanently fixed to this door for years."

"Then maybe it's time someone checked them," she frowned, pacing the corridor, determined not to make a spectacle. She just needed to do her job!

'There's no way,' she assured herself, 'There's no way in hell- three weeks. I haven't slept with anyone in these last three weeks… definitely!'

"Hermione, are you okay? Do you want me to floo someone for you?"

"I-I-"

"Dear, you're in shock," she sighed, grabbing her by both arms to get her to stop moving, "Please come and sit down, all this stress won't be good for the baby."

"There is no baby!" she cried, ripping her arms from the healer's grasp, "I'm not, I can't be- I haven't even-"

"Honey, just think," she said quietly, "Who was the last person you, er, spent the night with?"

"I-I," her eyes went glassy with tears as the memory of one night and one immature, uncaring prankster whirled through her mind, "No. No!"

She walked toward the wards one final time, composing herself before taking a step to stand right in front of them.

'Come on, Hermione,' she thought, battling all the logic her conscience was throwing at her and wishing the door to just allow her through, 'It's just a silly mistake. You're perfectly able to get through these wards because you are not a child, and you are not p-pregnant.'

But even with all the will in the world, the invisible barrier still turned scarlet for the third time and pushed her back.

"Perhaps it's best I get you home and you have the day off today."

"Oh but what about the help you needed with the invisibility flu?" she said, wiping the salty water from her eyes and looking worriedly to the chaos through the door, "I don't want to leave you struggling."

"You couldn't even if you wanted, dear. Just try and get some rest," Carmen smiled gently, taking a potion from the cupboard and placing it in her hand, "Take this once you're feeling better - you know how it works. I promise I won't tell a soul, no matter what the outcome."

* * *

"Hey, do you know where Hermione is?" Ginny asked, walking up to the Welcome Witch desk.

"Sorry, I'm busy," the girl said.

Ginny looked over the desk's counter to see her painting her nails with the twins' new 'Varnish Vibes' that told you what you were feeling by changing colour; Harry said they had something like it in the muggle world called mood rings, but Ginny doubted they worked the same.

"Well you don't look to busy," Ginny growled, crossing her arms, "Can you be nice for once, Buttermere?"

"I'm not interested in caring about people," she said, rolling her eyes and glaring at the man behind Ginny who's arm was bleeding heavily, "This isn't accident and emergency, sir, that's downstairs."

The man rushed off as he grumbled about the awful service.

"Who even employed you?" Ginny asked, looking at the rude witch incredulously, "Look, just tell me where Hermione is please."

"I have no idea, literally. She was in this morning, but she didn't come back after she went to the second floor."

"What did she go there for?"

"The only thing I can do is check her chart to see if she left a note," she offered half-heartedly, looking past her again to an elderly woman with a rash spreading across her arm in spirals, "Was it a potion?"

The woman nodded and Ginny laughed as the usually cruel girl's eyes softened and she passed the woman a map and told her, "You just need to press the P button in the lift over there and then follow along the corridor to the first door on the left. Ask for Jenny, okay?"

"Oh thank you, dear," she smiled, heading off.

"Have you got her chart, then?"

"Nope, hang on," she frowned, filing her nails smugly as Ginny tapped her foot, "I'll have a look now then."

Ginny rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth. She was just supposed to meet Hermione for lunch and now she'd spent almost fifteen minutes talking to the worst Welcome Witch she knew. Her and Maisie had meet before, it had been an equally horrifying experience as now, and she always knew where Hermione was. She was starting to worry about her friend.

"Oh, she got sent home on medical grounds," she shrugged, "Says here she was stressed and nauseous."

"What! Do you know why?"

"She had to deal with some big news apparently," she said, pulling out some lipgloss and popping the top off, decidedly done with the conversation.

"So you know she's definitely gone home then?"

"Do I look like a seer? Just leave ginger, I have patients to deal with," she scowled, tilting her head as she watched the frustrated Ginny storm off, "I hate people."

* * *

Ginny apperated to her friend's flat, unsure whether she would answer her floo. It was surprisingly empty but she could see that the bedroom door was slightly ajar, so she went across to it.

'_What news could she've gotten?' _she wondered, '_She couldn't have been fired, could she?_'

"Hermione?" Ginny called, knocking lightly on her friend's bedroom door, "Are you okay?"

"Gin?" she whispered, her voice hoarse and croaky. She was curled up under her covers, eyes red and puffy from crying and she seemed really upset. There was no way this was something trivial, Hermione was definitely in trouble. Ginny hurried over to the bed, sitting next to her.

"What's wrong 'Mione?" she asked gently, brushing the wild curls from her face, "Maisie said you'd gotten some news?"

"I can't-" she said, biting her lip and closing her eyes as renewed tears slid down her face, "I'm so stupid."

"Hermione Jean Granger, you could never be stupid," she insisted, wiping the streaming tears away, "Now come on, tell you're favourite Weasley what's the matter."

Hermione almost started sobbing again at the mention of the Weasleys.

"Oh no, no, don't cry," Ginny panicked, startled by the outburst, "What did I say?"

"Weasley!" she huffed, curling back up into a ball, suddenly moving from tearful to frustrated quick as a flash, thumping her pillow repeatedly, "Stupid, stupid Weasleys! Ginger monsters!"

"What! Hermione, how could you say that?"

"I-I-" she breathed heavily, unfurling mostly and looking up to the concerned face of her best friend next to her, completely wrecked emotionally.

"Come one Hermione, just tell me, please."

"Alright," she sighed, worry not leaving her, "I guess I'd have to tell you anyway…"

There was a small pause as she got herself together, "You remember Ron's wedding?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Well, I left early that day-"

"Yeah Fred took you home, didn't he?"

"Well Fred took me, but we didn't go home," she closed, her hands shaking in fear of telling, "We went to Fred's flat."

"You mean?" Ginny's eyes widened and a hand flew to her mouth.

"We slept together," she admitted, cringing at the horror on her best friend's face as she learned she'd slept with her brother.

"You had sex with Fred at Ron's wedding?" she asked, trying to grasp the concept, "Well, I mean that's not a big deal, is it? And it was ages ago, so he's not telling anyone. Fred wouldn't do that to you."

"I know, but that isn't what I have to tell you," she informed her, sitting up properly and scrubbing her eyes harshly with a closed fist, "Today I was sent to the second floor, but I couldn't enter the ward because apparently I'm…"

"You're what?" Ginny frowned, frustrated by the shake of Hermione's head, "Come on, you can trust me. You know you can."

"I'm, er, eating for two," she whispered, unsure of how to phrase it, "You know, p-p-"

"You're pregnant!" she asked, looking at her friend in a totally new light as she played with the sleeve of her jumper, blinking back the tears threatening to come out.

"I-I-"

"Oh honey," Ginny cried, pulling the terrified girl into a tight hug, "Don't cry! It's not that bad…"

"Yes it," she hiccupped loudly, "is!"

"No it's not," Ginny assured her, "It could be so much worse."

"I don't know what to do!"

"Oh Merlin Hermione," she sighed, pulling her into a hug as Hermione begun to cry again, "What a mess."

"I know," she moaned, "And can't tell Fred, not after I just left him. Bloody hell, it was a one time thing!"

"You were both spectacularly drunk, hun."

"What am I going to do? Who wants a baby at twenty-four with some woman they barely know?"

"You're not just some woman," she shushed, trying to lighten her spirits "You're Hermione Granger, for Merlin sake!"

"But to him I was just shag."

"Hey, that's my brother you're talking about," she tried to joke, "Are you sure it's his?"

"There's been no one else for a while," she shook her head, "I know it's his."

"We'll sort this out, we'll get everything sorted," Ginny soothed, "Have you taken the potion yet?"

"I've got one, but I haven't had the nerve to take it yet."

"Well then, that's the first step, isn't it?" she said, nodding to herself, thinking action would be much better than wallowing in bed all day, "Come on, get up and we'll get you the potion."

"It's almost inevitable that I am," Hermione sighed, following her orders and getting up, still in her jeans and a baggy jumper, "St Mungo's charms are never wrong."

"Still, you need to do this," she said, "Now where did you put it?"

"In the kitchen."

They both went to where she'd left it and Ginny uncorked the glass vial, passing it over to her as she sat at the breakfast bar.

"Bottoms up," she muttered, frowning and necking the bottle whole. It tasted disgusting, like orange and mint mixed together with a weird aftertaste of plastic. Seconds later, Hermione's stomach glowed a brilliant white before turning green.

"Well, you're definitely carrying a Weasley," Ginny nodded to the colour fading from her stomach, giggling a little as she said, "One night and he manages to knock you up. Now you know how mum has had so many kids!"

"Oh stop it," Hermione said, trying to hold in a laugh as she wiped her eyes, "I guess it's a relief to know for certain."

"Look, that's my little niece in there," she said, patting her stomach, "Try not to seem so down about it."

"Is it bad I feel a little bit excited? I shouldn't be excited about having a bastard child, but I'm pregnant Gin," she smiled sadly, rubbing her flat stomach, "That doesn't happen every day, does it?"

"So how are you going to tell the family?"

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes, coming down from the unexpected high, "I don't want to."

"Well I think they're going to realise when in nine months a little ginger kid pops out of you in the middle of Sunday dinner," she raised her eyebrows.

"Oh no! I don't even want to think about that," Hermione groaned, covering her face with her hands and breathing in deeply, "Can't we just say it's yours?"

"Maybe not 'Mione," Ginny laughed, rolling her eyes at the girl's dramatics, "That doesn't exactly work on a biological level."

"Why does everything in my life have to go tits up?"

"Come on, I thought we were being positive now?" she teased, "Now you're going to tell Fred earlier than everyone else, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Hermione bit her lip, thinking about how to tell him, "Should I owl him? Or should I floo over there?"

"I'd say tell him in person," she nodded, proud at the brave face her friend was putting on.

"Would you come with me?" she asked, pleading with her eyes.

"I can head over there with you if you'd like," she offered, grabbing her hand across the table, "But you'll have to tell him yourself."

"I-I, okay," she sighed, heading over to the fireplace, "Lets get this over with."


	3. Chapter 3

I'm still looking for a beta people! Well, read, enjoy, review and get ready because next chapter things are getting ugly.

Thanks,

Em.

* * *

"Diagon Alley!" Hermione shouted, throwing down her handful of grey powder and green flames engulfed her from toe to head. She appeared in the pub fireplace, brushing off the dust and stepping out, almost falling over with a small dizzy spell. She hadn't felt strong enough to apperate and she never wanted to repeat the experience of side apperation and especially with a quidditch player; they were known for their volatile apperation.

'_Where is Ginny?_' she wondered, tapping her foot impatiently, '_Oh Merlin, she's left me alone. How am I going to do this?_'

She walked over to the barman, Tom, who was wiping a recently vacated table, "Sorry, but have you seen a ginger girl come through here?"

"Er, no love," he said, looking up and smiling apologetically, "Sorry."

After about another minute of hanging around, she abandoned waiting and went to leave the Leaky Cauldron, carefully avoiding a girl about to take a sip of her exploding lemonade.

Walking into diagon alley with what felt like the weight of the world on her shoulders was somewhat akin to walking into a wall of sound; there was no escaping the constant noise, but at the same time she absorbed none of it.

She walked down the cobbled streets with an unfamiliar rigidness, winding her way to the bright orange display of the twins' shop. When she got there, she was confused by the lack of giggling girls and rampant children racing past the window and went to the door where a large piece of parchment hung, reading:

'_Sorry, closed for business. Closed to all unless directly related to us. _

_PS. Ron, you don't count!'_

Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the handle, taking a deep breath and pushing the door, stepping into the colourful shop. The place seemed quite lonely, Hermione thought, without the joyful laughter and furious shouts of all the patrons that usually filled the place.

_'__I guess he's in the back,_' she thought, flipping up the counter and heading behind to their workshop, '_Oh, he's not here…_'

Taking in the odd stench of the boys creations, she let out the breath she'd been holding and perched on the potions desk.

"So what do I say first?" she mumbled, chewing just light enough to not break out of her thoughts, "I guess that I'm pregnant has to come into it somehow. But I can't just say I'm pregnant, can I?"

She stood up and thought about what she would do if he was in front of her now, "_Okay, I'm just telling him that I'm going to have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants… no need to complicate things._"

"So how do I start? I'm having your child? No, to clinical. Erm, I'm up the duff seems vulgar. I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm," she stopped and placed a hand on her stomach, closing her eyes and breathing in like the air was confidence, "I'm pregnant, Fred, and it's yours. That's what I'll say."

Sighing she nodded decisively, trying to shake her fear out from her hands.

"Anyone home?" she called, tramping up the stairs into the twins' flat. She shuddered as she thought of the last time she'd been there, and the reason.

"Er one sec Hermione, I'm just-" a ginger haired twin called from the kitchen.

"That's fine, no problem," she said, trying to keep the fear from her voice.

"Ginny's here," he said, pointing wildly over at the general direction of the bedroom, "Just grabbing me something she'll be out in a minute."

Hermione looked over to see the door ajar. Thinking about what and decided she best tell him now, before she came out.

'_Short and sweet, just like I rehearsed,' she said to herself. _

"I'm-" she froze as panic set in, she couldn't watch the man whose life she was about to ruin as she told him the worst news ever, "I-I"

"You're what?"

"We used to be ducklings, didn't we? You know, you and I were just swimming in the pond of life with the other ducklings and not really worried about anything. But like, now we're not, you know, ducklings but we're not exactly ducks either and you know I think if we had another duckling we could deal with it - unless you don't want to deal with it and that's fine and I guess I understand that I'll just leave the pond and you know, raise the duckling alone and…"

"Hermione, what are you talking about?" he said, turning to see her.

She twisted quickly to avoid his gaze, scrunching her fists and shaking her hands in frustration, "Look, I know I'm pussyfooting around but-"

"Oh 'Mione, that's not-" Ginny interjected, coming out of the bedroom, only to be interrupted by her grinning brother.

"I just don't know what you're going on about," he laughed. It curbed, however, when he saw the look on his younger sister's face, "Tell me what's going on."

'_Fuck it!_'Hermione huffed, '_I'm just telling him.'_

"I'm pregnant, Fred," she blurted, waiting for a second before adding, "And you're the father, by the way - but you, erm, kind of got that."

There was a lapse as no one spoke for a second, and Ginny was about to jump in when a newly determined Hermione carried on.

"I really don't care if you don't like me anymore and you want to have nothing to do with me or my baby whatsoever; that doesn't change the fact that it is yours and I know that for certain," she insisted, biting her lip, "And I'm keeping it as well. I'm not losing this child, even if I have to raise him all by myself."

"It's not Fred, Hermione," George said, crossing his arms as the shock disappeared and frustration replaced it, "Though I would like to know why you think my brother would abandon you and your apparent baby."

"George?" she whipped around, furrowed brows and a deathly white complexion, "You're not Fred?"

"What's going on guys?" Fred said, who had come up the stairs at the noise. He looking worriedly over to the shocked expression on the twin's face. Hermione looked like she was about to faint.

"Er, nothing Fred, I was just telling George that Angelina had come into St Mungo's," she said, forcing a smile for him, "You know how working in Gringott's can be."

"What?" George asked, wondering what she was going on about now, "Angelina's-"

"You know George, I was telling you about how Angelina _told_ someone about the project she was working on for the goblins and somehow she ended up _hurt_," she said, emphasising the most important words, "I fixed her up, but the poor dear really should be more careful."

"Oh, I hope she's okay," he smiled, patting his brother on the back, completely missing the glare on his face, "Give her my best."

"I will."

"So, is that the reason you're here, Gin? To wish her the best?"

"Er, no. I came with 'Mione because we're going somewhere after this," she improvised, looking over to Hermione with wide eyes.

"Oh yeah, we should be going, shouldn't we?"

"Er, are you sure there's nothing else, Hermione?" Ginny frowned, "Nothing you want to say?"

"Oh, yes, George if you want to see Angelina, come over later," she said.

"I don't know, maybe I should just see her when I see her," he said, looking nervously from her to Fred.

"No, I insist! As soon as you're done, just head on over to mine and I can take you to her," she grinned, grabbing Ginny's arm and apperating them both.

"Mate, that sounds bad," Fred sighed, looking over to his worried twin, "Are you sure you don't want to go now?"

"No, it was nothing big," he shrugged, "So, how was Harry?"

"Fine, fine," Fred smiled, sitting down next to his brother, "He seemed a bit worried about 'Mione."

"Oh, why?" George asked, trying to act casual as he wondered if Harry knew.

"He hasn't seen her in a while, apparently," Fred told him, "And earlier today the Harpies flooed him asking where Ginny was. He said she'd gone over to the hospital for lunch with Hermione but she didn't come back to practice and they couldn't get hold of her."

"Oh dear," George nodded, getting up.

"Yeah, but I guess she must've been with Angelina then."

"Yeah, nothing to worry about."

"Talking of Angelina, you probably should go, shouldn't you mate," he said, inclining his head to the side, "And I should be getting over to mums - she says she wants us for dinner tonight as we closed the shop early for Friday."

"Yeah, course," George said, trying to get out of lying to his twin, "I can go tomorrow though, if mum wants us."

"Why?"

"Well, if I went now, I wouldn't be getting out before dinner," George winked, "I'll see you later."

"I guess I can tell her I good luck and get well, then," he smiled.

"Yeah, okay," he said, watching his twin head over to the fireplace he had just come from, "But she's not the one who needs it."

* * *

Hermione was shuffling around her kitchen, the hem of her pretty grey dress swishing around her thighs. She leaned over to grab the golden syrup from the shelf and placed it next to the ceramic bowl she was using, reaching for the scales above her microwave.

Tonight was Sunday dinner at the Weasley's and she really didn't want to turn up empty-handed so she was making her signature sweet: sticky toffee pudding. To be quite honest, she wasn't actually planning on going - even though she still hadn't been for three weeks - but the two days since she'd accidentally told George about the little Weasley in her stomach had been agonising and it wasn't doing anything good for the baby. Turning on the wireless before starting to sort out her ingredients, she smiled as she recognised the song playing.

"Say nighty night and, kiss me," she sung softly, if not slightly off-key, and weighed out what she needed for her grandma's famous Victoria sponge, "Just hold me tight and tell me you've missed me."

Flicking her wand toward the wooden spoon sitting next to her mixing bowl, it began to beat the mixture as she swayed to the music and walked over to sort the oven, "While I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me."

"I do love golden syrup," she smiled, dipping the tip of her pinky finger into the tub and licking it off, "Right, this has to be perfect - it won't do having Molly think I'm a whore that can't even cook."

"Why are you a whore today, Hermione?"

Hermione jumped in shock at hearing another voice in her apartment. Though one she'd gotten over the initial shock, she knew who was here and giggled, "Well, Luna, I may as well tell you - I'm pregnant."

"Merlin, that's wonderful!" she beamed, wrapping her arms around her friend in excitement, "You're pregnant!"

"Yeah, I'm thinking not everyone's going to be as ecstatic as you."

"Oh I don't know," Luna frowned, looking Hermione up and down for any changes, "I've always known that you'll make a great mother. And last week I saw a Doozy Crudivore last Thursday and they always mean big news is coming."

"Of course," Hermione giggled, "What colour were its hooves?"

After the battle, Hermione had taken it upon herself to get more involved with Neville and Luna's lives - instead of just hanging around with Harry and Ron - and she was very glad she had. Neville had surprised her with his extensive knowledge of herbology and together they'd managed to sort the wonky system St Mungo's had for ordering their potions. She went to see him and Hannah Abbot, his wife, up in Hogsmeade at the Leaky Cauldron when the students had a day out in the little village. Harry sometimes came too, but being an auror was a time-consuming business.

As for Luna, the first thing Hermione did was learn all about the creatures she was going on about all the time. After getting past the idea of Crumple-Horned Snorkak existing, she'd found some really interesting things - they'd become closer as Luna floated almost fully down to earth and Hermione let her imagination run riot and soon they were even almost as close as her and Ginny had been. The only person closer to Hermione was Harry.

"I did think I saw some Bumbershoots that night, you know-" she raised her eyebrows, "I guess I should have paid more attention because you know what Bumbershoots mean."

"Fertility," Luna nodded, "I'm guessing this was the night of Ron's wedding then?"

"How did you know!" Hermione asked, shocked, "I thought you were under the table with someone half the night?"

"No, that was Nev and Hannah," she informed her friend, "Why does everyone seem to get us confused?"

"The hair," she said distractedly, "But how did you know?"

"Well I was with Rolf, you know, my _boyfriend _for most of the night. But then I saw you talking to Molly and you seemed upset but there were Bumbershoots everywhere so I kind of sent your baby's maker in your direction," she trailed off, looking up.

"You what?"

"Well you just looked so down and I knew you'd have some great sex because sometimes they just mean a really passionate romp under the duvet, not babies."

"Oh Luna," Hermione sighed, having completely abandoned making the cake by hand and letting her magic take over, "I really appreciate the thought, but this probably isn't the best outcome."

"Hey!" she protested, pointing a slim, pale finger at her friend, "Don't say that. Any baby, planned or not, is a blessing for the whole family - anyway, it doesn't matter if everyone else isn't happy. I'm happy for you, Harry will obviously be happy for you and most importantly _you_ are happy."

"I am happy," she smiled, "I just don't know if Fred will be."

"I think he could surprise you, Mione. He's a very good man," Luna said seriously.

"Is he a man? I mean, he works at a joke shop for Merlin's sake!"

"Don't you mean he owns a joke shop? A very successful joke shop that has set him and George up for a very prosperous future. A future with a nice wife to support and a few little babies to look after…"

"But he doesn't want any of that with me Luna! I was the mistake, the one night stand we can't tell anyone about," Hermione cried, before sighing and looking down, "What about any of that is romantic and loving? This child was made by accident to parents who don't even love each other."

"You used to like Fred in Hogwarts, didn't you?"

"Yes, but a childhood crush is nothing compared to real love, the kind of love you need to raise a baby."

"Hermione, don't crack all you're eggs before they've hatched, will you? You don't know how this is going to play out, but no matter what I'll be there for you. Have you told anyone else?"

"Well Carmen at work knows, and I told Ginny when I first found out," she sighed, thinking about the visitor she was expecting, "I did go to tell Fred then, but you know how people mix the two up."

"What!" Luna gasped, a giggle escaping her lips before she could stop it. She covered her mouth with her hands as Hermione glared at her.

"It's not funny!"

"Yes it," she breathed in, "is!"

Luna burst into fits of laughter and Hermione couldn't help but join in at the thought of something so ridiculous.

"You idiot!" she exclaimed, "What did he say?"

"Well at the time I was really nervous so I sort of said that he - I mean Fred - didn't have to be involved in it and he got really mad because he thought I was offending Fred's honour or something and Ginny was just standing there awkwardly, which didn't help."

"Oh my Merlin, that's priceless."

"Shut up! It was awful," Hermione said, smiling at the flushed face of her friend, "I just apperated out of there once Fred came up."

"Fred?"

"Yeah, he came up and interrupted George so I just told George to come over and apperated away.

"Merlin, you are brilliant," Luna beamed, "So has he come over?"

"No, not yet. That's why I'm going to the Weasley's tonight," Hermione told her, motioning to the oven where her cake was baking, "I'm hoping to withhold cake for information; there's not one person that can resist the call of Grandma's pudding."

"Ooh, is that the stuff you made for Harry's birthday last year?"

"No, that was a treacle sponge."

"But that was so nice," Luna groaned, "All that goopy syrup and moist sponge…"

"Ah, but this is even better," Hermione said, holding her finger out to stop Luna's next words, "You see, this is just my like treacle sponge but nothing like it at all."

"That makes so much sense," she said rolling her eyes, mocking her friend, "Hey everyone, this is Loony Granger… Hermione Granger."

"Hey, that happened one time and I'm really sorry about that," Hermione said, pouting, "Anyway, you can't be mean to a pregnant lady, can you now?"

"I wouldn't exactly call you a lady," Luna giggled, and Hermione huffed standing up to start on her sauce.

"Laugh all you want, but you keep picking on each me, then you aren't getting any of this."

"I guess I'm coming with you then?" she asked, "That's fine, I love Mrs Weasley's chicken pie."

"And you don't like mine?" Hermione bit her lip, "How am I ever going to be a good mother if I can't even make a pie!"

"Wow, these pregnancy hormones are really getting to you," Luna said as her friend panicked over the hob, "You mustn't worry Mione, at least you're not telling Fred today."

"I know, I know," she said, fiddling with her necklace, "Do you think I look fat in this?"


	4. Chapter 4

Why does no one want to beta? Help me out! But if not, just read, review, etc. and please forgive Hermione what what she's about to do.

Thanks,

Emily.

* * *

"I'm sure that she told me she was coming tonight," Molly frowned, placing the vegetables she'd made onto the table and swatting away Ron's hand as it reached to grab a piece.

"Mum if she's not coming, why do we have to wait for her?" George said anxiously, hoping he'd gotten away with avoiding her and Fred as much as possible, staying late in the shop on Saturday.

"How would you feel if we all started without you?" Charlie asked, frowning at his usually chivalrous - if not a little mischievous - brother as he bit his nails.

"I'd be fine with it if I was this _late_," Ron grumbled, staring longingly at the chicken pie that was losing steam quickly.

"Shut up Ron," Ginny rolled her eyes, "I'm sure she'll be here soon and you can stuff your face all you like."

"Much to the displeasure of everyone else," Bill laughed, ignoring the glare coming from his baby brother, "Seriously you eat like there's no food left in the world."

"I thought I was Sirius!" the man added, making everyone groan. Ron's retaliation was interrupted however when a loud pop was accompanied by a giggle.

"I love that feeling," the floaty voice of their friend said as she appeared behind Arthur, "Hello everyone."

"Oh Luna dear, I didn't know you were coming!" Molly cried throwing the gravy pot carelessly on the table and rushing over to her.

"Mum!" Fred shouted, as he scorgified his scorching trousers now covered in gravy, "Calm down!"

"Sorry, I just haven't seen our little Luna in such a long time."

"I wasn't planning on it, but Hermione was heading over when I went to her's and I decided to tag along."

"Hermione! Have you seen her? She said she was coming but she hasn't turned up yet and she's never usually late," Molly fretted, pulling the young girl into her arms.

"Hermione's just coming across now Molly," Luna told her, giving her a hug, "She can't apperate at the moment, so she'll be in the fireplace in a minute."

"Oh lovely," she smiled, turning back to her preparations.

"Why is it she can't apperate?" Sirius asked worriedly, "Is she hurt?"

"No, no," Luna said breezily, ignoring the worried faces of their friends, "She's just been upset today, that's all, and we don't want to risk her splinching. It's important to her that you don't mention anything about her appearance - not even a compliment. Oh and Molly, no offence, but when we have dinner I'm going to have to say something quite mean about your pie."

"Whatever for, dear?"

"She's been feeling a little sensitive about her cooking lately," Luna said, looking over to Ginny meaningly. Deciding she wanted George to feel a little guilty too she added, "She's just been so stressed. She's been really worried about something."

Ah, there's the look she'd been wanting. George's eyes were downcast and he was wringing his hands nervously.

"She's okay, though?" Harry asked, knowing something had definitely been up his best friend and eager to find out.

"She's mostly fine now," Luna sighed, "Just don't say anything to her please."

There was a lull in conversation before everyone went back to what they'd been talking about before Luna had come in. There were lots of people there that Sunday: Sirius and Remus had come along with Teddy, Harry and Ginny were there sitting next to each other, Ron was back from his honeymoon with Lavender, the twins were laughing with Charlie and, as always, Fleur was berating Bill as he bounced Teddy on his lap - Luna had a feeling that their marriage wouldn't be lasting for long.

The large fireplace glowed green as a smiling but slightly red-eyed Hermione stepped out with a large dish. Just a look at George had a few tears welling up in Hermione's eyes but she quickly shuffled into the kitchen and placed down the cake, blinking back her fear.

'_He won't make a scene here,_' she soothed herself, '_And Luna said she was sure I didn't look fat._'

"Hermione!" Molly smiled, wrapping her arms around the girl.

"Lovely to see you Molly," she giggled, happy to be in her surrogate mother's warm embrace, "How are you?"

"I'm wonderful, we're all wonderful," she sighed, letting go as looking behind her at Hermione's tray, "What's that you've brought with dear?"

"It's treacle sponge, my Grandma's recipe," she paused awkwardly, "I didn't want to come empty handed."

"How thoughtful. Come, come, sit yourself down," she said, ushering her into a seat, "Everyone's so happy to see you."

"Mione," Harry smiled squeezing her hand across the table, "I haven't seen you in forever."

"Sorry Harry, I've been terribly busy at work."

"No worries, Mione," Sirius chuckled, "We all know you're the only thing keeping that place upright."

"Oh Sirius you mustn't be so kind, I truly don't deserve it."

"Nonsense," Arthur said softly, "You are amazing Hermione."

"Right, well I shouldn't hold up dinner," she said, looking over to Molly.

"You already have," Ron grumbled, earning a slap on the thigh from Lavender, "Alright, sorry."

"What are we having, Mum?" Fred asked. Hermione looked up at his voice, unconsciously touching her stomach and biting her lip before she felt a hand on her own under the table. She turned to Luna and smiled sadly.

"Chicken Pie," Molly beamed, opening the lid of a ceramic pot.

Suddenly, Hermione was hit with the most horrible urge to vomit. She tried to hold it down as everyone talked and complimented the horrific smelling meal, but when a plate of it was passed across her to Charlie, she had no choice but to run to the bathroom and empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

"Hermione?" she ignored the cries from her friends as she retched and dry heaved, having nothing left to purge.

'_I don't understand,_' she thought, '_I love chicken._'

"Dear are you alright?"

She knew it was Molly behind her but she didn't have the energy to lift her head up. After a second, she slumped, sitting with her back to the tiled wall of the bathroom.

Running a quick diagnostic spell, Molly frowned as the green hue of the spell shone back, telling her Hermione was perfectly fine.

"I really don't know what's wrong, Molly," Hermione said, clutching her stomach, "I just saw all that chicken and suddenly I couldn't keep anything down. Eugh, just the thought of it makes me ill."

"Neither do I, dear. You're completely healthy according to my charm," she sighed, completely confused, "It's always worked for the boys…"

"Which one do you use? Otromas or Rumans?" she asked, the healer in her peaking out.

Deciding a little bit of time to calm down might help Hermione with feeling so ill, Molly started telling her a story, "My mother used to be friends with Dilys Derwent who worked as a healer a long time ago - quite a bit before those healers you're talking about. When my mum got pregnant with my older brothers, they were twins just like my Fred and George, she had absolutely no idea how to handle the pregnancy. Now you've met Muriel, haven't you?"

Hermione nodded, standing and sliding up on the counter.

"Well, my grandmother was just like her sister - wasn't very touchy-feely and that left my mother in a very uncomfortable position with her first children."

"How so?"

"Well, grandma didn't know how to help mum with what she needed to know. So anyway, Dilys was on her way to see my mother - and at the time she lived here in Ottery St. Catchpole with a big winding path - when she saw her sitting in a puddle in tears. She had absolutely no idea what mum was doing, so she went over to her but she couldn't even speak she was blubbering that much."

Hermione chuckled at the thought of a stern Mrs Prewett soaked in rainwater, her arse soaked, "So what did she do?"

"Well, it turned out that my mum was upset because she had been getting the most horrible urge to vomit _every time_ she saw my dad. And you see, because of all the hormones from the pregnancy, she had run out of the house and started crying so hard that she fell over. Apparently she was crying so hard she couldn't get up."

"So why was she being sick?" Hermione asked, curious about what'd happened.

"Well, first she used this diagnostic spell to see why she was feeling sick - turns out that the only thing this spell can't detect is morning sickness and-"

"Morning sickness?" Hermione whispered quietly, biting her lip.

"You know, when women get ill in the first few months of the pregnancy. It can get set off by anything, even your husband! When I was pregnant with Fred and George I couldn't go near…"

"Near what?"

"C-chicken," Molly mumbled, bringing a shaking hand to her mouth.

"Molly…" Hermione said hoarsely, urging her to sit on the edge of the bed next-door to the bathroom, "I can explain, really-"

"You aren't, are you?" she pleaded, putting her hands on Hermione's shoulders and staring into her eyes, "Please tell me you've got food poisoning or you've caught the plague!"

"Molly, please."

"No!" she shouted, "You cannot be having a-a-"

"Molly," Hermione insisted, looking anxiously at the staircase where she knew everyone was probably trying to listen in.

"You are not having a baby," Molly whispered angrily, clutching at her heart dramatically, "I'm very disappointed by you, Hermione, having me on like that! Did the boys tell you that story?"

"Molly, it's not a prank," she sighed, as Molly shook her head, "I've never heard that story before, though thank you for sharing it with me."

"I-I just," she whispered, "I don't understand."

"I can't explain everything to you yet."

"What is there to explain? You're neither married or in a relationship and yet somehow some horrible man has managed to get you _pregnant_!"

"Shh," Hermione said, glancing back to the now closed door, "No one else knows. You need to keep this a secret."

"Oh Hermione-"

"Molly please," she begged, "Just promise me."

"Of course, dear, of course. I promise you," Molly sighed, her hands shaking as she clasped Hermione's in her own, "It- it isn't Ronald's, is it?"

"No Molly, he's very happy with Lavender."

"Have you told the father?"

"I plan to."

"Mum?" a quiet voice came from behind them, making both women turn to see George's head peaking through the bedroom door, "Mind if I speak to Hermione for a sec?"

Molly looked to Hermione with wide eyes and she subtly shook her eyes, "Why don't you lie down here for a moment, Molly?"

"Yes, yes," she said, unsure of how she felt, "I'll just lie down."

"Come on then Mione, let's leave mum in peace."

"I'll be back in a minute, Molly," she sighed, "Just try to calm down."

"I guess so, dear."

George stared at her for a second as she shut the door. There was no denying, Hermione had certainly grown up well. Perhaps not enough in the chest area to warrant being the main topless model in What Witch weekly, but then again what self-respecting wizard read that magazine anyway.

'_We'll just ignore that summer in fifth year when Charlie's friend left his copy featuring Moira Gernen, Witch Weekly's editor, in mine and Fred's room,_' he thought, his face reddening.

Yes, Hermione certainly was gorgeous… and clever… and kind… and definitely patient having put up with him and his brother all this time - Merlin, Fred sure picked a good girl to inadvertently impregnate.

"So George, I see you finally came to see me," she said, gritting her teeth as he stepped back from her intimidating glare.

"Er, yeah, I didn't have time?" he said, wincing as she took a set closer to him.

"George Weasley, don't you ever," she whacked him on the shoulder, "do that to me again! I thought you had told Fred!"

"Oh yeah, and that'd be such an inconvenience to you, having Fred know that he's going to be the father of your baby in less that 9 months."

"What!"

Bill stumbled up the last step of the staircase, floundering around for words other than 'What!' to express how he was feeling.

"Listen, mate-"

"Hermione? Is that true?"

She stared dumbly as he came closer, and grabbed her by the shoulders, "Are you p-pregnant?"

"Well.."

"What? How could you do this? And with Fred? Didn't we tell you that you couldn't touch boys till you were like, 100 years old."

"You're not my father!"

"I damn well should be if this is what he lets you get up to when he's not here."

"What? That's - you're being ridiculous Bill!"

"Am I? Because you're the one who's managed to have the first Weasley grandchild without even being a Weasley."

"Stop being such a twat," she huffed, crossing her arms and frowning, "And stop being so mean to me - it's not like I did this on purpose."

"Oh yeah, great excuse! You're just totally reckless and ignored the great advice of all six Weasley brothers. Who, by the way, just wanted to protect you from these idiotic boys who go around pretending to be good just so they can get into your innocent little knickers!"

"May I remind you that it was one of those idiot Weasley brothers who-"

"I just can't believe that you were so stupid as to actually fall for it! And now, you're knocked up!"

"Bill, you can't blame just me for-"

"Oh I _am_ going to blame you, little miss. But don't think I'm not blaming that little runt I call a brother too."

"Gotta remember it takes two to tango," George chuckled, before the glares of Bill and Hermione got him to shut up.

"Look Bill, you can't tell anyone - not many people know."

He sighed and gave up being angry, "Fine. But I'm guessing Mum knows though, after that morning sickness episode."

"Does everyone know what that was?" Hermione asked, panicking, "Literally everyone in the family is here!"

"No, Luna said you must've eaten something bad," George told her.

"Yeah, I kind of figured this one out by myself," Bill said, rolling his eyes.

"He is supposed to be the clever one in the family," George added.

"Well as the clever one, I do know you're not keeping Mum's mouth shut just by asking," he paused, starting to pace, "You need something to keep her quiet."

"Or Fred and I could just stay away from her until you decided to tell her."

"That doesn't mean she won't be telling everyone else," he pointed out, "There's really no way around this but an oath."

"Not like an unbreakable vow, right?" Hermione asked, worried that this was getting a bit drastic.

"It'll just be a magical contract or something like that."

"Oh?"

"Pretty easy, really."

"Mum will never go for that," George frowned, looking down the staircase, "Look you best go back down so we don't look suspicious. We can deal with mum, just tell everyone that Hermione's gone to sleep and I'm, er-"

"Explaining why she's sick. You know, what Luna said to us," Bill decided, nodding at them, "I guess I'll see you."

He smiled at Hermione and gave her a quick hug, telling her, "If you need to talk to someone who isn't Luna, come see me."

"Sure, thanks Bill," she said, letting go of him, "Now go, before other people start coming up."

"See 'ya."

They both waited as the noise died down from the table downstairs when Bill went back, but once it returned to normal George motioned to the bedroom door.

"Shall we sort this?"

"Why the hell not," Hermione sighed, biting her lip, "I don't see how much more odd this week can get."

"I know."

"Molly?" she asked tentatively, pushing the door open, "Are you feeling any better now?"

"Oh yes," she beamed, making the two frown at her happy demeanour.

"Oh Merlin, you better run," George said under his breath, "She's realised that you're having her first grandkid."

"My only grandchild!" she cried, hugging a stoic Hermione before turning to get a notepad, "Your's and Fred's wedding is going to be wonderful."

"I don't think they're getting married, Mum…"

"Nonsense!"

"Look Molly, I'm going to have to do something very bad now, but it's important I do this," Hermione said slowly, raising her wand up and pointing it at her head, "Now hold still."

"What dear?"

"Obliviate," she whispered, looking nervously at George, "It had to be done."

"Did it?"

"Well," she let out a breath as Molly flopped ungraciously down onto the bed, "I mean-"

"It's okay 'Mione," he chuckled lowly, "It's not going to hurt her."

"I've only removed memories of tonight."

"Yeah, and she'll find out again, soon enough."

"What?"

"Well I'm not making you tell Fred, but it'd be a hell of a lot easier on everyone if you did."

"I will, it's just hard," she said, rubbing her temples, "I'll tell him soon."

"You better," George said, "He deserves to know."

"I'll come over to the shop tomorrow. Can you give us some time?"

"Yeah, if you come on our lunch break Fred'll definitely be there and I can tell him I'm going out with Angie."

"Thanks George."

"No problem, I'm not the one having to give birth to the little terror."

"Hey, you're just jealous you aren't having my precious babies," she giggled, slapping him on the arm.

"Yeah, 'cause I so want to be attacked in the night with wedding patterns," he laughed, dragging her out of the room."

"Where are we going?"

"Well, I'm going to have what's left of your treacle sponge, and you are going to tell everyone that mum helped you, but she felt tired and has gone to bed early."

"I'll have to tell Luna what's happened."

"How's this gotten so crazy?" George laughed.

"I have no idea."


	5. Chapter 5

I really need a beta reader! Please help me, otherwise the problems I'm having writing without the mistakes I'm making. Still, read, review and enjoy - here's another chapter in the beautiful story of Fred and Hermione and the little thing.

Love

Em.

* * *

For Hermione, the twin's supposedly weird and wonderful Hogsmeade shop, which was clearly just a huge play room, felt like the complete opposite of anything she thought she'd ever like.

It had these huge, bright windows that let so much light in she thought she'd go blind. They were almost always fogged up by the breath of all those kids pressed up against the glass, on their tip toes to see the magic just waiting for them inside. Hermione felt like it was too revealing and public; there was no way she could let herself be so open to everyone like the twins did; they let anyone who wanted to see into the most inner workings of their mind just peer through and stare.

And it was always crazy in there. Full to the brim of people buzzing about how amazing everything is - who could take all that pressure, people judging your creations twenty-four seven. God, it just made her skin crawl thinking about it.

It'd been five whole days since the Molly fiasco, and this was the first time that week she'd had time off in her lunch break and managed to get over to the shop to see Fred. She knew she'd told George she was going to see him on Monday, but she just hadn't had time.

She could tell George was already inside, dealing with all the young, fascinated customers, but she was feeling really terrified about going in.

Pushing the door open, she shook her head and laughed quietly, "I just have to make sure it's actually him this time."

She slipped through the crowds to the counter, where Lee was steadily counting cash from the till, "Er, Lee?"

"Oh hello, 'Mione! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, pretty good," she shrugged, leaning against the wood, "How about you?"

"I"m fine, I'm fine," he smiled, stopping his hands and focusing on her, "I'm guessing you're not here to pick something up?"

"Clever," she rolled her eyes, "I'm looking for Fred, actually. Happen to know where he is?"

"Why yes I do. And I guess I could tell you," he paused and smirked, "But you see, oh little 'Mione, that's quite valuable information. Do you know how many pretty girls come in here looking for one of my sexy best friends?"

"Pretty girls? Don't you mean sluts?"

"Oh, harsh," he teased.

"I'm not one of those floozies, Lee, and you know it!"

"No, you're not, I know that. But still, I can't be giving out all that precious information to you without payment."

"What do you want?" she sighed, crossing her arms.

"I think a kiss will do," he smiled, tapping his cheek.

"Oh," she smirked as he raised his eyebrows suggestively, loosening up, "Well I can do that easily enough."

She reached up and kissed him sweetly on the cheek, before sinking back down onto her heels, "So, where is he?"

"Our ingenious laboratory, where the geniuses are hard at work," he leaned forward conspiratorially, nodding to , "Those idiots won't let me anywhere near it, say I'm not half smart enough to go in there, but if I remember what your big hairy dog keeps telling me at Order meeting correctly, you are the brightest witch of your age."

"God, I haven't heard that in years," she giggled, "And I wish Sirius would stop going on about that - so I saved him from Azkaban and potential death by death eaters and Remus, get over it!"

"Alright little miss sarcastic," he laughed, "And the twins told me you don't have a funny bone in your body."

"They said that?"

"They obviously aren't worthy of your witty wordplay like me," he winked.

"Yeah, I guess I don't really know them all that well," she sighed, wrapping her arms around her stomach, "They wouldn't really know if I was funny or not, would they?"

"I guess," Lee said, furrowing his brows at her wistful expression, "They have known you since you were eleven, though."

"Exactly, I'm still that bushy haired eleven year old to them," she sighed.

"Er, I'm pretty sure when I saw Fred staring at you all night at the wedding, that wasn't a little girl's arse he was looking at."

"Lee! That's horrible," she whacked him on his arm, frowning as he chuckled, "No, Fred doesn't want that with me - we're, well, we aren't exactly friends with each other, never mind dating."

"You never know until you try," he smiled, ignoring her scowl before going back to his counting, "Anyway, I've neglected my work long enough; I can't be chatting to pretty ladies _all _day."

"Lee…"

"Yeah?"

"Can I see Fred now?" she insisted, rolling her eyes as his widened and he stood up.

"Course, 'course," he shook his head, opening the door to the back room and letting her through the counter, "I completely forgot."

"Thanks," she shuffled past him and into the lab, "See you in a bit."

"See you Hermione," he mock saluted her, "Be lucky."

She laughed as he left, "Fred?"

"I'm in the greenhouse!" he called from behind a large frosted glass door.

'Since when did the twins have a greenhouse?' she mused, walking over to where his voice had called from.

"Hey 'Mione," he turned to see her, rubbing his neck awkwardly "Erm, what's up?"

There was a lapse as Hermione tried to drag her eyes away from his exposed arms, and Fred's face showed his confusion as she came out of her gorm, "Hermione?"

"Sorry what?" she said, blinking quickly.

"Why are you being weird?" he asked, wondering why she was all flushed, "You aren't still thinking about-"

"Fred! We aren't mentioning that, remember?" she gritted out, grabbing him by his wrist, "Look, I came over to speak to you about something… it's really important."

"Oh, right," he raised his eyebrows, wondering what she could need to tell him, "Well first, whilst you're here, why don't you help me out with a little something I've been working on."

"Look, you know I don't like to get involved in those pranks you make up," she told him, leaning against the work surface.

"No, I'm not asking for you to help make something, but I do need you to test something for me," he said, waving his arms to physically repress her words as she tried to argue, "It's completely harmless! It's for our new Wonder Witch selection, you know, the one we've been doing for the ladies of Hogwarts."

"What is it?" she asked suspiciously, her hands meeting her hips in the usual disapproving stance, "You aren't making more of those love potions are you?"

"No! This range is all about keeping girls naturally beautiful and healthy," he told her smugly, "All I want you to do is try this new potion, the Cleansing Cordial."

"Oh," Hermione stopped, her arms dropping a she took the small blue bottle from him, the label in shimmering silver.

"It's for spots and acne. I know you don't have acne, but it could sort out that spot behind your left ear."

"How do you know about that?" she said indignantly, touching the small mark lightly.

"Well I discovered it when I was with you about a month ago, but I can't really talk about it it," he smirked, winking at her before snatching the bottle from her unsuspecting hands and uncorking it, "You only need to take a sip."

She took the proffered liquid, hesitating only for a second before bringing it to her lips, taking a small sip. Hermione put the bottle down and her eyes widened as the blemish disappeared slowly, "It's gone!"

"Ah, it works then," he grinned, "Here let me have a look."

"Fred?"

"What! I'm just gonna take a little peak," he said, spinning her around and pulling her hair back, "Wow, I am good."

"No, Fred," she said urgently, "I feel really sick."

He turned her to face him, touching her forehead lightly, noticing that she looked like she was blushing, "You've got a right temperature. Do you feel like you're going to throw up?"

"No, my stomach just aches; it really hurts," she told him, her breath getting heavier as she tried to deal with the pain. It felt like someone was trying to rip her abdomen out and she was really flushed and clammy - like she was standing in an oven.

'_Oh Merlin, what the hell is wrong with me_,' she fretted, her face scrunching up in pain, '_Oh, the baby!_'

"Fred fix me!" she shouted, not caring that he was standing right next to her, "I-I need-"

"Right, I'm taking you to St. Mungo's," he asserted, grabbing her by the hand and taking his wand out.

"I-I can't apperate," she told him, groaning in pain and squeezing his hand, "We have to use the floo."

"What? Why can't you-"

"Just do it!" she cried out, not paying attention as he threw some powder on the fireplace and ushered her across the room and inside, "St Mungo's!"

* * *

For Fred, Hermione's haven of St Mungo's was the one place he hated the most. To be fair, Hermione worked upstairs, over in the cushy upper levels, not accident and emergency, where everything was crowded and stuffy, but the whole room was silent - a seriously unnerving contradiction. It was as if talking was a taboo, even people who were waiting together weren't speaking.

Everything spotlessly clean, yet you can still taste sickness in the air whenever he breathed in. After the symphony of coughing, hacking and wheezing that greeted Fred in the hospital reception, having just left Hermione to Dr Luca, he'd quickly located the floo and called George to ask him to come down to wait with him, but he'd said that Lee had already gone home, so he needed to look after the shop till closing, which was still an a while off. After he gave Luna a call, who he knew was Hermione's best friend, and she'd said she'd be down straight after work let out, but it'd been almost an hour since he'd spoken to her, there'd been no word from the doctors and no sign of Luna.

He'd been thinking to himself in the silence, thinking back to every detail of his potion and what could've caused the reaction, '_We tested it loads of times; it should have been fine for her to take… I just, I just wanted to impress her._' He sighed again, earning a glare from a middle aged couple sitting across from him on the stupid plastic-y chairs.

It felt really strange and awkward to sit alone and wait for her, he really needed someone to talk to about this. He had no one to talk to, no one to worry with, no words of wisdom or consolation. Normally his Mum would be here, feeding the whole Weasley clan till they were so full they couldn't get upset. That's why, no matter how immature it looked, he'd had a pumpkin fizz in his mouth since they'd taken Hermione away.

"Mr. Weasley?" the cranky old Welcome Witch called from the entry desk, "Is there a Fred Weasley for a Miss Granger?"

"I'm here," he said, holding up his hand and ducking over to her, abandoning his bag of sweets, "Er, any news?"

"I'm not here to tell you anything about the girl," she scoffed, rolling her eyes as if he was supposed to have know that all along.

'_I can't start with her, I just want to see Hermione_,' he told himself, "Then what are you here to tell me?"

"They're moving you up to the third floor waiting room for overnight patients," she said, pointing to the lift, "You just need to press the button with the 'P' on it."

"Right, I've got that," he nodded, before he realised what she'd said, "Wait, what's she doing overnight?"

"I really don't know, Mr Weasley."

"Why not?" he asked worriedly, biting his nails, "Is she in trouble? have they not sorted it?"

"Listen, I can't tell you anything I don't know, and I don't know anything. I promise once you get there a healer should be with you as soon as possible to explain everything to you."

He sighed at the idea of more delays, but with a quick thank you he headed to the lift, pressing the button she'd told him to a few times, thinking perhaps it might get him there faster.

'_They better tell me whether she's okay_,' he thought. He was really anxious that she'd been hurt really badly and they'd given him nothing to go on. He left the lift and took a seat in the new waiting room right next to the corridor that he knew from lead to the wards where she was.

A pretty blonde woman he vaguely knew from when they'd take Hermione away from him came along the corridor, calling loudly in front of Fred, "Have we got a Mr Weasley?"

"Er, that's me," he said, watching her surprise with a small smirk as she looked down in surprise.

"Oh right, lovely," she said, beckoning him to stand, "I can tell you what's happening now, if you'd like?"

"Can I not see Hermione?" he requested, looking worriedly down the hall, "Is she still ill?"

"No, she's fine," the woman assured him, "The only reason I didn't suggest it was because she's on some sedatives at the moment and she'll be a sleep for a while - it will give her mind time to rest after the adrenaline rush whilst her body repairs itself."

"Oh," Fred said, a bit calmer, "Well I'd still like to see her if you wouldn't mind."

"No problem," she smiled, starting to walk away, "Follow me; I can explain on the way down there. I'm Dr Carmen Luca."

"Hi, Fred," he said, holding out his hand for her to shake.

"Nice to meet you Fred. So we managed to calm the symptoms down quite quickly - the increase in temperature and dehydration was due to the main problem she was having and the dizziness was quite easily stabilised."

"And what was the main problem, exactly?"

"Well, the Dirigible plum contained in the potion usually reacts with the LH in a woman's body as it would in yours for example, but this reacted badly with Hermione's stomach, what with the condition she's in meaning there is no LH being produced."

"Condition?" Fred asked, though it seemed the doctor hadn't heard him as she turned the corner and opened the door to the room Hermione was in, "Excuse me, but-"

"Here she is," she said happily, "Safe and resting."

Fred's relieved smile somewhat faltered when he saw the pallid skin so unlike the healthy Hermione he knew and teased. This girl looked vulnerable and tired. He went to her side and stroked her hair softly, watching her shuffle at the disruption.

"She's not going to be effected again by it, is she?"

"Not unless you give her anymore of that potion," she teased, "You really should be more careful when testing these things."

"I really don't know what happened, we've run trials thousands of times," he frowned.

"Hermione said that it was one of your own creations?"

"Yeah, but it isn't like this is the first thing we've made - I'm with Weasley's Wizard Wheases in Diagon Alley."

"Oh yeah, my nephew really likes that shop," she laughed, "I don't think I've bought from anywhere else for his birthday present since he was five."

"Well I wonder what we missed," he said, thinking back to the tests they'd done.

"Well I assume that it wasn't made for pregnant women?" she asked.

"Yeah, none of our Wonder Witch products are suitable for pregnant women but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Fred, Hermione's pregnant," she told him seriously, grabbing her chart, "Look, I've got other patients to see to, I assume you're going to be okay here?"

"Y-yeah," he uttered, sitting slowly onto the seat by the bed, "I'll just-"

'_Pregnant?_ _Oh Merlin she's pregnant_.'

He stood up quickly and started to pace by the side of the bed, his mind racing but no thoughts sticking in his mind, '_If she's pregnant, she isn't with anyone and she… she said she doesn't, she wouldn't - why the hell wouldn't she tell me?_'

"Merlin almighty! I can't deal with this," he huffed, turning and leaving the room quickly.

He rushed down the corridor, trying to remember the way back to the lift; he needed to be at home, he needed to think about things.

'_It might not even be mine_,' he thought, but the idea of Hermione being with anyone else made him feel queasy. He wasn't paying attention to anything as he made his way back.

"Hi Fred, is she okay?" Luna said, having just arrived from work. She knitted her brows as she walked straight past her, not saying anything.

"Fred?" Luna shouted, confused by the boy stalking away from her to the lift, "Where are you going? Where's Hermione?"

The loud voice calling his name broke the bubble he was in, and he turned to look at who was behind him.

"Not now, Luna," he said lowly, gritting his teeth and carrying on down the hall.

'_She probably knew too_,' he scowled, ignoring her.

"But Fred, what about Hermione?" Luna cried again, to no avail. The scene he was causing was attracting attention, so Luna went to a nurse in the waiting room and asked where her friend was, heading down to the room she was in.

"Oh Hermione," she sighed, walking over to the pale girl sand grabbing her hand, "There's going to be a lot to deal with when you wake up, but I'll help you with it - I promise. Fred will understand everything, I'm sure."

The silence that met her reassurance was saddening. Luna was almost one hundred percent certain that Fred knew about the little baby Hermione was about to have - and was not happy.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you so much for reading! FRED KNOWS...

Hermione's having a baby, Hermione's having a baby! Now, we're all super excited, but the family doesn't know, do they? So, are they going to find out? What's Fred going to say when he realises that George already knows.

Read, review and enjoy,

Thanks, Em.

* * *

Hermione sighed as she slumped down onto the plush sofa, glancing back at the oven before turning on the wireless and sinking back into the cushions, hoping to ignore the growing weight on her shoulders from the memories of yesterday afternoon. She'd yet to gather up the courage to floo Fred, having been unsure whether he even wanted to see her, but she knew that he was only just accepting that he was going to have a baby; she'd already had a week more to let it sink in.

Luna had slept over in the spare room that night after a long conversation between the two - though Hermione saw it more as Luna berating her for letting Fred give her something unknown and not telling him straight away - but she'd left in the morning to go and see Rolf, which meant she'd yet to see the result of a stressed and impatient Hermione.

'Hello, it's 8am on Friday, it's very sunny here in London considering it's the beginning of September, and you're listening to _The Way It Is _with me, Lyra Good!'

"I've never heard this show," she said, thinking out loud, placing her tea down.

'And today we're taking you, our listeners, into the wonderful world of babies! Now I know this subject might not be for all my listeners, but it's been requested so much we've just had to give in. So, what made you sick? What were your pregnancy cravings? We discuss everything and anything today on _The Way It Is_!"

"Oh Merlin, on today of all days," Hermione sighed, standing up to switch the radio off.

'Hi floo-er, you're live on the wizarding waves, got any experiences you want to share?'

'Well, I don't know if it will rouse a debate, but, erm, I just wanted to say that pregnancy - no matter who you are - it's hard… and I don't think I would've been able to raise my daughter without the support my husband, so to all you fathers out there supporting _your_ baby's mum - thank you.'

'Thank you floo-er, what a wonderful way to start our broadcast. So, talking of all those baby carrying mamacitas out there-'

With a sharp stab at the dial, the noise was gone and Hermione was just a little bit less annoyed by the morning as a whole. She would've put on a brave face for work, but she really hadn't been feeling up to it and another healer owed her for covering his shifts a few weeks before, so she'd taken the day off.

"Are you keeping it?"

Hermione spun around from the counter to see Fred standing there in her living room, his arms folded.

The first thought she had wasn't something she regularly worried about, but she pulled at the hem of her top, realising that she wasn't exactly dressed for a visit with leggings and a slouch t-shirt on. She speedily pulled off the marigolds she was wearing from cleaning the dishes and tried to ignore the awful state of her hair.

'_I'm not trying to impress him,_' she thought, closing her eyes for just a second, '_I'm not nervous, I-I'm fine._'

"Fred, what are you doing here?" she said softly, biting her lip as his eyes narrowed, "I thought…"

"What?"

"I thought you didn't want to see me, that you didn't want us," she frowned, rubbing her non-existent bump.

"Oh Merlin, of course," he growled, "I mean, after finding out from a _fucking_ doctor that I got you, my little brother's best friend, pregnant I should just ignore you till the kid pops out."

She looked down, blinking quickly, "I came to tell you at the shop, but all of that with the potion and going to the hospital and…"

"Look, I didn't come to fight, I just want to know if you're keeping it."

"I am," she nodded slowly, "I don't care if you don't want anything to do with us-"

"Move in with me," he said quickly, staring at her imploringly.

Hermione's eyes widened and her heart started to pound as she realised what he'd said, "Fred, you can't possibly mean that!"

"I'm not asking for your hand in marriage Hermione, just if you'll move in with us - me and George - so that I can be part of my child's life," he said nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets, "We might not be together, but that little kid inside you is half mine. So, you know, just think about it for me."

"Fred-"

"And I know this flat doesn't look like much what with having to share it with my twin and being above the shop and everything but I've got some of that muggle frebreeze for the smell if it's too bad for you and a spare room we can convert into a nursery for when the baby arrives," he said, hesitantly, "We could even add another room if you wanted?"

"Fred-"

"And I really think it's important that we stay together throughout this - even though we've never really talked and when we do we argue all the time - because there's no way I'm letting you take my kid away from me. Not that I'm suggesting you'd take my kid away, but there's a huge chance you might move away or something and I don't want that to happen do I, and-"

"Fred, is there any way I can get you to stop talking?" she interrupted loudly, glaring at him. She huffed as she crossed her arms, her mood suddenly switching, "Because, if I'm being honest, I've really needed to pee for this whole conversation and I didn't actually listen to what you were saying whilst you blathered on."

"Hermione, you can't really-" he shook his head as she interrupted him, wondering if he could remember his Mum's hormone-fuelled mood swings kicking in this early when she was pregnant with Ron or Ginny. His dad had taught him, George, Bill and Charlie that when their wives, or even friends that you just happen to knock up, got moody or sad, you just had to shut up and follow their demands, but if she was going to be this much of a banshee, he wouldn't bother.

'_And lets face it, with a wife like Mum and the patience of a Hufflepuff, there's no way I could 'put up with it' like Dad did with Mum. I'm not going to be a damn doormat,_' he thought angrily, scratching his head as he realised he'd lost track of what she was talking about completely, '_Bloody hell I'm going to get in trouble for this as well, aren't I?_'

"Plus, I am _trying_ my hardest not to throw up on your face because, you know, I have to be polite to the father of my illegitimate child," she said sweetly, her expression the opposite of her tone as her head bobbed from side to side, "Oh, and the reason I want to throw up isn't just because of the morning sickness I've been experiencing all thanks to your incredibly potent sperm at the most inappropriate times - for example in the middle of the meeting I had on Tuesday with my new head of department - but because your aftershave is currently overpowering my nostrils and I cannot breathe in without retching."

"Sorry, 'Mione-"

"But I can wait right here whilst I listen to you babble on about how great your testosterone filled flat is and that it's a brilliant place to force me into so we can bring up the baby that's currently pushing down on my bladder."

"God, you are such a bitch sometimes!"

"What?" she demanded, breathing heavily from her long speech.

"I was trying to do a nice thing - the right thing - and you just start moaning at me like I've doing you a great disservice! Are you ever happy? I'm standing here in your apartment to support you after you lied and kept my baby from me, to get involved; I'll do whatever it takes for our child and your just whinging about needing the loo!"

There was a pause in the conversation as both of them stopped to breathe, before Hermione spoke again, a twinkle in her eye.

"No, yeah, your right," she smiled, reaching up to place her hands on his flushed cheeks, staring lovingly into his eyes, "Lets move in together!"

"What?"

"You were absolutely right about me; I was wrong to argue with you and cruel to shout at you and I'm so sorry for doubting you and not listening."

He didn't reply, staring into her eyes reluctantly before she let go.

"We're having a baby so… yes, yes, a thousand times yes - lets live together! I'm totally in this. Oh, this is the most thrilling moment of my entire life!" she sighed happily, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, "Now what?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned, shaking his head in confusion at her straight face.

"Well obviously I'm going to have to move all my stuff in," she said, looking at him expectantly.

"Well yeah, eventually, I suppose, but it was-"

She furrowed her brows and looked straight into his eyes, "Are you saying I can't keep all my stuff? I mean, I am sacrificing my apartment aren't I? I think if I'm not allowed to stay in my own flat whilst having your baby I think I should at least get to make yours as comfortable for me as possible."

"I, urm, didn't mean it like that. I-"

"Good! Well I guess that's the move sorted. You'll just have to make space for all my furniture, oh and probably move George out."

"Wait, George?"

"Then what?" she asked again, not answering him.

"I-I don't know," he said, getting flustered by her quick questions, "I hadn't, er, really thought that far ahead…"

"Oh, you hadn't thought that far ahead," she mocked, staring at him in anticipation, "You know that surprises me because this all seemed so well planned."

"No, I just wanted to show you that I'm here for you, you know, I'll try my best to give you whatever you need."

"Really? Okay, I need to find a way to tell your parents that you got me pregnant without them disowning you, or Molly outing me to the wizarding world as a whore. Do you think you could sort that out for me?"

"Erm-"

"Also, I need a way to tell Ron that I slept with his least favourite brother at his _wedding_, and then tell Lavender, who already hates me, that she won't be the first one to have a Weasley grandchild for Molly but that I, who isn't even a Weasley, will be. Do you know how to do that?"

"I hadn't - I don't know, I-"

"No, you don't know because you're just a stupid, immature prick! And you have no bloody idea _what_ you're doing!" she said quickly, her voice raising higher as her arms waved dangerously close to his face, "How did you think pressuring me to move out of my home would help this situation? Did you just think Molly and Arthur would genuinely approve of me living with two men - one of which happens to have already knocked me up - whilst I'm pregnant with said baby?"

"Look, I was just-"

"This isn't the land of milk and honey, Fred, where we can move in together and magically everything is perfectly fine again - this is real life!"

"I know it's real!" he roared before she could interrupt again, "Don't you think I know that? I am shit-scared that we're not ready for this and I'm going to screw it up and us up too, I'm really fucking mad at you because you didn't tell me about any of this sooner _and_ that I had to get the news from a doctor whilst you were unconscious, I'm bloody furious at myself for putting you and my baby in danger with that stupid potion-"

"Fred, that wasn't your fault. And I wasn't giving you an outright no," she sighed, giving up on fighting, "You just came at me with it so fast you didn't give me time to think. I don't know what I'm going to do, but it'd be nice if you let me think for a bit about everything before we start making big decisions."

"I just want to deal with this together," he said helplessly, "I want to be involved; I don't want you t-to leave me with no connection to our little baby."

"I know you're worried, I'm sorry I can't help much but it's just," she let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, "I have no clue what I'm doing, never mind what _we're_ doing - but I won't keep you out, okay?"

"If that's the best you can do…" he said, a teasing smile on his face.

"For now," she nodded, "Once we get sorted with the family and everything, we can plan further ahead."

"Fine by me," he chuckled lowly rubbing her stomach, "Hello, urh, Pickle."

"Pickle?" she said, raising her eyebrows and laughing as he nodded fervently.

"Well it's about the size of a pickle right now, and it's a cute name…"

"Er, maybe more like a peanut, but I don't want to call it peanut. There's nothing really there anyway," she giggled, placing her hand over his, "No bump - it's too early."

"Well, I'm sure I can feel something," he breathed out in amazement, "Just a little baby sitting in there, listening to us talk about it."

"I think it might need to grow ears first, you know, before it starts eavesdropping," Hermione pointed out with a smirk as he stood up to face her.

"It might take after George," he winked, "We could call it eighteen months."

"Eighteen months?" she said, puzzling as to what he meant.

"You know, eighteen months," he smirked, pointing to his ears, "Ear and a half?"

"Funny," she rolled her eyes, folding her arms stubbornly, "It will most definitely have two ears, thank you very much and we are under no circumstances calling out baby eighteen months, nickname or otherwise!"

She rubbed her bump-less stomach fondly, "No, it's going to grow two good ears, two eyes, a mouth and a cute little button nose."

"Button!" Fred cried, "We could call it button?"

She frowned and said, "I think I might start to resent the name button when I'm the size of a beached whale."

"Well I thought it was cute," he shrugged, "I guess we'll just have to think of something later."

"Yeah," she said, smiling softly at him, "We've created something Fred. It's bloody scary, and I've got absolutely no idea how to handle this, but we've got a little gift."

"Yeah," he said, "They can be a late wedding gift to Ron - that he gets to be an uncle."

"Our little gift," she whispered, looking up into his light brown eyes, only just noticing how close he was, "Fred-"

He didn't move away as she called his name, only stared right back at her, raising one eyebrow and smirking, "Hermione?"

"Fred-" she took a breath, before stepping away from him, turning back to him and placing her hands on the counter for support, "You should probably go now… I'm see you on Sunday?"

He paused, before nodding, "Yeah, Sunday - at the Burrow?"

"Of course - and Fred?" she said, facing him again now she'd composed herself.

"Yes 'Mione?"

"We're keeping it quiet for now, yeah?"

He glanced at her stomach and then at her anticipating face, "Whatever you want. See you."

And with that, he apperated back home to get thoroughly trollied with George, in hopes it'd give him enough courage to tell his twin that he'd gotten their little brother's best mate pregnant.

'_He's never going to believe this!_'


	7. Chapter 7

I am inFredulous that I have finally found a beta reader! Thank you PurpleNarwhal for checking my grammar and everything, _you're _a godsend!

Okay, so Fred knows, Hermione knows... and you know, we all know. Ready for the time of your life? Read, review and enjoy for me, because I've written this on my holiday just for you!

Thanks,

Em

* * *

"You knew."

It had taken almost the whole weekend for Fred to gather the courage to tell George everything, and here he was, sitting awkwardly in the exact same position he had been when he had worked out that he and Hermione had slept together, telling Fred that he'd know she was pregnant an entire week before he did. It was Sunday and to be quite honest, he knew when he saw her tonight he was going to go mental, but he didn't really care now.

"To be fair, mate, she didn't actually tell me," he pointed out, knowing the stoic face of his twin was not something to anticipate, "She thought I was you and told me… you? Er, well anyway, she told me and then once she'd said it you came up to the flat - remember when Angelina was ill and Hermione was looking after her?"

"I knew she wasn't ill, George," Fred rolled his eyes, shaking his head at how dense both of them seemed in this conversation. What with him not knowing George knew about 'Mione and his twin's thinly veiled attempt at lying, "I figured you just wanted some, you know, alone time."

"No, she wanted me to come and see her."

"Who else, then?" he sighed.

"Who else what?"

"Who else knew about 'Mione?" he insisted.

"Me, Ginny, Luna, Bill and briefly, Mum," George said hesitantly.

"Mum! Mum knew?"

"Yeah, but 'Mione obliviated her," George said, wincing at the twitch from his twin, "She needed it… she wasn't ready for anyone else to know that might be a liability."

"Right, so I'll just talk to her tonight, then," Fred said resolutely.

"But, after dinner, right? Don't want any of yours or Hermione's blood in my tea, okay?"

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," he looked over to George, "It'll be fine, right?"

* * *

"Dear, you've been working all afternoon on your day off, and now you're cooking dinner too," Molly frowned, watching the girl as she hastily chucked another handful of goats cheese into the pot, restraining the full force of the action, "Though I appreciate this, I must insist you let me finish it off."

"No, Molly," she gritted out, trying to keep her temper down as the matriarch continued to bother her, flitting around her shoulders, "It's fine; I like to cook."

Unfortunately she'd just come back from the hospital where she'd been working all day to help with the epidemic of Black Cat Flu going around where she'd been assigned Maisie as an assistant for her shift and there was nothing more annoying when working extra time. It'd been a horrifying seven hours and all she wanted to do was go home, but there was no way she was getting out of the compulsory Sunday dinner.

Hermione had come over and having met a poorly Molly, it seemed that Molly was starting to get the flu she had just been treating. So having given her a double dose of potion and sending her off to bed, she'd decided she'd help out by cooking dinner for everyone since everyone else was out playing quidditch in the back garden. About an hour after that, just as she was nearly done and had taken out most of her anger on the ingredients, Molly had woken up feeling better and was now pestering Hermione because she was feeling bad about leaving her to do the cooking, inadvertently working her up now.

'_God, I wish I'd given her some sleeping potions too,_' she huffed, grabbing the pot to boil the pasta.

"I know dear," Molly winced at the bang of her pan on the hob, "But you seem quite tired today - you've done all that work already and helped me out a lot."

"Molly, seriously, I'm fine," she rolled her eyes, "Really, just sit down for once and let me help you some more. You do too much as it is."

"Being this family's caregiver is my job, Hermione, you've already done yours today," Molly chided, before her eyes glinted as she thought of something, "I say, actually, if you really want to help me, will you go and grab everyone in - tea is nearly done anyway, isn't it?"

"Molly," Hermione said warningly, pointing her wooden spoon at the innocent looking woman.

"My old bones couldn't get all the way down that field dear," she shook her head, taking the spoon, "You're really doing me a favour."

"Fine," Hermione sighed grumpily, taking off her apron and passing it to the smug woman, "Just as long as you know that I know exactly what you're up to!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said innocently, chuckling at the slam of the door as Hermione left, "And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I know Fred plays quidditch without a shirt."

"They would make such cute babies," she sighed wistfully, waving her wand as she transferred from cooking the muggle way, like Hermione had been doing, to the wizarding way, "If only."

Molly bustled about the kitchen for about a minute more before her entire extended brood bustled in, most of them quite sweaty from playing.

"Come on, sit down," she said, taking her seat too and charming the serving spoons to move themselves.

"Ooh, Mum, this looks delicious!" Fred grinned, taking his regular spot.

"George took a bite from his and said, "Tastes as good as it looks, Gred. Dig in!"

"You quidditch players," Molly chuckled, "I don't know how you lot fit that much into your mouths at once!"

Fleur coughed daintily, not unlike Umbridge used to do, Hermione thought, "I is not wishing to be rude, but are you 'aving ze salad in ze 'ouse? I cannot be eating zis - it is being too heavy for my stomach."

"Oh-" Molly started.

Hermione interrupted her, standing up, "I'll get some for you."

"Merci," she said, looking gratefully to her, and Hermione frowned when she saw the scowl on Ginny's face.

'_I knew she didn't like her, but it's just some salad,_' she thought, '_And to be fair, the sauce is quite claggy._'

"You know Mum, this is brill!"

"Well Hermione actually-"

"You're such a good cook Mum!" Charlie said, shovelling his food in.

"Boys, if you'd listen-"

"Just fab!"

Hermione seethed in anger as compliment after compliment was given to Molly by the family. She knew that it was completely irrational to be mad at the elder woman's blushing face, but having put a lot of time and effort into dinner, she really couldn't help it - especially after the day she'd had.

"No, really I-"

"Molly, this is so much effort," Audrey said, looking at the huge spread her boyfriend's family was devouring. Hermione squeezed her spoon, biting her lip to keep the comment she wanted to make in.

"Molly, you work so hard, you mustn't be so humble," Arthur said, grinning and rubbing her back, "This is probably the best dinner you've made in quite a while!"

"Yeah Mum, it's brilliant," Bill beamed, chomping away happily like his siblings, "What is it? I know we haven't had it before, have we?"

'_Why am I so emotional_?' she huffed silently, clenching her fist, looking sheepishly at Charlie as he stared down at her ripped napkin, '_It's not a good look, Hermione! Get yourself together._'

"Not when we were all at home," Ron said, speaking through his forkful, "Bloody delicious though."

"Well, actually, I didn't make it," she said, sharing an irritated look with a surprised Hermione, "Hermione did. If you'd have listened to me, which you never do, you would know that. And if you all hate my cooking so much, why do I bother to cook for you at all?"

"No, Mum, you've got it wrong," George said, laughing awkwardly, "Dad was just saying that…"

"They were kidding, Molly," Hermione said, trying to keep the annoyance off her face, "I'd already told them that I'd made dinner - though I don't know why today of all days, when you've come down with the flu, they would decide to make a joke."

The thankful looks from the whole Weasley family were dismissed with a quick eye roll and Hermione started to listen as Charlie spoke.

"Of course, speaking of jokes," he said, looking down the table to all his brothers holding hands, "Looks like Fred is the only single Weasley's left."

"Oh, my dear, have you got yourself a girlfriend?" Molly said excitedly, "What's she called? Is she from England or Romania? Is it very serious? Is she pretty? I bet she's pretty, isn't she? You've always had an eye for the ladies, haven't you? Ooh, I can't wait to meet her!"

"Mum, calm your rocks!" Ron chuckled, "If not he'll run away and won't tell us anything."

"She's called Ninetta, she's from Romania, we've been dating for two months now and she is very pretty," he breathed out, "You can't meet her for a few weeks, though; she's working on a project and won't be able to visit till then."

"Well, I can't wait to meet her," Arthur said, smiling over to his son. Molly, however, had moved on from Charlie and was now getting ready to berate her only single son.

"See Fred! Even Charlie's found someone and he is a self proclaimed bachelor," Molly scolded him, "When are you going to find someone? You used to know such nice girls at Hogwarts, where did they all go? "

"Mum!" he whinged, closing his eyes in annoyance.

"You'll have to settle down someday, son. You can't have your cake and eat it too," Arthur frowned at the boy.

"Who actually gets cake and doesn't eat it? That's such a ridiculous saying," Fred scrunched his nose up, trying to understand.

"You get what your father meant," Molly scowled, whacking Fred on the upside of his head, "Don't be so blooming cheeky."

"Merlin, mum! I was just saying I didn't get it," he grumbled, rubbing the back of his head, "No need to go mental."

"Well no one else made a comment," she said huffily, frowning at him.

"No, I don't get it either," Hermione frowned, "I'm genuinely perplexed by the fact that someone, somewhere, was once convinced that even though they had their own cake, they weren't allowed to eat it. Did someone tell them they weren't allowed?"

"I'm surprised by that, it is a muggle saying," Arthur said, before his wife's eyes widened.

"Ooh, do you know anyone muggle you could go on a date with Hermione?" she asked, "Ever since work picked up, you haven't been out, have you? Maybe you could set Fred up with a healer you know?"

Fred growled lowly, attracting the attention of the few people sat around him, Charlie's eyes heading to his hairline, "She doesn't need a date, dad, and neither do I."

"Well, you definitely do," he intoned, "When's the last time you met a nice witch?"

"Well I'd say about four weeks ago," George snorted, "Too bad she didn't stick around, what _was_ her name again?"

Hermione discreetly kicked him under the table, earning a loud cry George tried to disguise as a cough and a deathly glare from his brother.

"Was that at my wedding then, Fred?" Ron said, finally abandoning his dinner to join the conversation, "Cause I can't remember that many available witches there…"

"No," he said quickly, "It was just at a bar, nothing exciting - she wasn't my type."

"Oh, oh, I see," Molly said, looking down, "Fred, you know, if you're roasting the broomstick with just any old witch-"

At that, all Weasley family members, Harry included, replied with the appropriate response of an immediately scarlet face and a loud, horrified groan, plugging their fingers in their ears. Fleur looked aghast that her mother-in-law would even mention such a thing, Audrey was giggling at her usually serious boyfriend's childish behaviour and Hermione was deathly embarrassed that not only was she hearing this, but it was because of her the entire conversation had even started… so understandably, she was bright red.

"Mum, no one wants to hear you talk about that!" Charlie cried, cringing at his mother's amused face, "So gross."

"I'm just saying - that sort of behaviour can lead to a little wizard under your care before you know it. And you have to remember that one," she held out her finger to him, "it takes two to tango-"

"Merlin, this is disgusting!" Bill wailed, his calm, cool and collected demeanour gone.

"And you shouldn't take her as a lover for the night-"

Ron started to make fake vomiting sounds as Lavender poked her husband harshly on the arm, trying to get him to stop what he was doing. Charlie and George grappled for their wands so they could place a silencing charm on their mother before she continued.

"-before you get to know her because if you get her pregnant, I can guarantee, from that moment on, everyday for the rest of your life, you will be dedicated to that woman and your little child. Do you understand that Fred?"

There was a pause as no one spoke, before Fred hastily pushed his chair out and ran straight to the backdoor, hitting it in his haste before he could find the handle and get out. Hermione sighed, biting her lip and looked apologetically to a very confused Molly and stood up as well, "I'll go and check on him - see what's wrong."

Arthur and George both looked like they were going to protest, but with a stern look from Luna, they bit their tongues and shut up. She walked calmly to the door and left them to their murmurings, heading through the garden and straight to him.

"If you have come out here to reassure me, then forget it. There is nothing you can say that could convince me it's all going to be okay," Fred told her, waving his hands in her face, "I am officially _freaking_ _out_!"

Hermione scrunched up her eyes in anger and kicked him hardly in the back of the leg, quite uncharacteristically.

"Ahh! What the hell was that for?"

"You dolt!"

"Hey! You need to realise that I am just-"

"Just what? Just realised that this is just all a massive fuck up? Oh, well done!" she growled at his, pointing her finger in his face, "Have you also realised, Fred, that you have still got a _way_ better deal in all of this than I have?"

"That's not true! We've both got-"

A squeal of indignation interrupted him, "No! We haven't 'both' anything! I've given up so much more than you! I am _way_ smarter than you and I had _way_ more potential! I was bright, I-I was funny, I was slim, I was pretty-"

She paused for breath, but started up again when she saw him roll his eyes, "And now look at me! I'm just a big fat screaming woman!"

"You're not-"

"I've got enough to cope with without being your bloody teen angst councillor! Why is it you can't seem to surpass the mental age of 16? That's the reason we're in this mess - because you still act like a horny teenager! Can't you just grow up?"

"Maybe I don't want to grow up, huh? It's not fair," he pointed to her slight bump, "It's a hell of a price to pay for one lousy shag!"

"It was not lousy! And _nobody_ forced you, you could have stopped at _any_ time!"

"Erm, no I couldn't. I'm single and therefore naturally horny, you're an incredibly fit girl and there was a massive bed," he shouted, waving his arms wildly, "There was no choice!"

"Oh, so I was just a quick shag to you then? That's wonderful Fred, that's just lovely."

"Well it's never going to be anything more than that because _you_ don't seem to want me to be with you!"

"Well we don't fit together - you're lifestyle is wholly unsuitable to sustain a longterm girlfriend, never mind a pregnant one," Hermione explained coolly, looking up at his flushed face.

"Unsuitable? Is that really what you think of me?" he asked her, coming closer as she bit her lip.

"I-I don't think of you," she uttered, his breath tickling her ear hotly, before she pushed him away weakly.

"You want to see unsuitable?" he whispered, leaning till his lips were even with hers.

Pushing her into the wall gently and pressed his lips to hers as she stayed frozen in his arms.

'_We aren't right - this isn't-_' she stopped thinking as she realised that her brain had gone terribly fuzzy and all she could really think about was his arms around her waist and the delicious scent of his aftershave as she let go of her worry and begun to respond to his kiss, deepening it.

'_Jesus, this is lovely,_' she sighed, melting into him.

They stopped for breath before Fred grabbed her warm hand and kissing her quickly again, smiling down at her. She tried to speak, but every time she started, he decided to snog her words away.

"Fred, stop-"

"Fred, we're-"

"Fred, your parents!"

"Fre - mhm - your whole fam-"

He stopped her outburst with another long slow kiss before he winked at her, "Stop worrying. You know you want me."

Hermione's eyes narrowed at his callous attitude and she stepped away from him before she flicked her wand harshly at him, "Oratio prenotatam!"

'_If he's going to be so damn casual, I guess he won't mind this_,' she grumbled to herself, breathing heavily, still slightly dazed by his hot touch.

"What did you do?" he asked her incredulously, running his hand through his hair nervously, panting.

'_Why has she jinxed me? What've I done?_' he worried, looking down at himself as he tried to see if all his limbs were still attached and work out what she'd done to him, '_She wanted that just as much as I did._'

"Just a little magic," she said smugly, taking a step back from him to the doorway catching her breath finally, before mocking him, "Stop worrying."

"That charm, is it new? Oh, you little shrew!" he cried, realising what she'd done to him.

"There's no point in fighting it," she giggled, "There's nothing you can do!"

"I'm going to loose my mind," he glared, neither one noticing the noise his family was making as they were gathering behind the back door, having heard Hermione's raised voice as she cast her spell.

"I don't see your problem," she shrugged, grinning.

"Everything I say, it rhymes - this spell's really unkind!"

"Unkind, that's all you've got?"

"Nothing else would would rhyme with mind," his eyes narrowed as another sentence was forced out, "It's your fault, may I remind."

"Of course," she rolled her eyes, waiting for his next line.

"Thanks to that stupid charm, I've got no control now," he waved his wand, completely forgetting he could just use _finite incantatem,_ "Know that I could cause you harm - you're such a crazy troll!"

"Just take your punishment like a man," she frowned, before mumbling, "Not that you are one."

"Our situation is complex, once she knows Mum's going to wring our necks, but since we had sex, you've been _completely_ vexed," he stopped as they both heard some kind of commotion coming from behind the door and Hermione cast the counter charm to her jinx before turning the handle and pulling open the door to reveal the entire Weasley-plus clan staring slack-jawed at the couple, apart from a few choice faces.

Ginny was smirking at them, her arms folded, which disconcerted Hermione somewhat; George had his eyebrows raised but he seemed impressed, probably that they were talking it out finally; Bill had a look of worry on his face, glancing back and forth from them to his mother - who was clutching her chest in horror.

"What the **_hell_** are you talking about?" Ron said darkly.

"Hermione?" Harry said tentatively, walking to the front of the clump.

Hermione's face flushed redder than the hair that was surrounding her, her voice weak as she tried to smile, "H-hello everyone… er, thank you for dinner Mrs Weasley it's been a pleasure."

And with that, she spun on her heel, leaving Fred to clean up the mess.

'_And considering it's all his damn fault they heard, I don't feel at all guilty,_' she scowled, '_Not a jott.'_

"I'm going after her," Harry said to the group, "Thanks Molly."

"No problem dear," she whispered.

"I'm coming too," Ginny and Fred both said, standing up.

"No," Luna shook her head, "I will go with Harry."

"Harry," Ginny whined, sending Luna a dirty look when she was turned away.

"No Ginny," Harry said, taking out his wand, "This is about Hermione, it isn't about who goes."

"Yes it is," Luna said, grabbing his hand and twisting them both away.

When they got into Hermione's flat, Harry turned to Luna, "What did you mean by that?"

"You remember when Fleur first came over?"

"Yeah," Harry said confusedly, "I know Ginny wasn't very happy, but…"

"She was more than unhappy," Luna scoffed, "She called her Phlegm and all she ever did the summer Bill married her was moan - drove Hermione crazy."

"But 'Mione didn't like her either," Harry said confused.

"Yeah, but I don't know why, but whenever one of the boys gets a girlfriend, she starts to hate them. She's never liked Fleur or Audrey and now she's gone off Angelina because of George - she used to be good friends with her in Hogwarts."

"Is she jealous?"

"I don't know, but Hermione's not just dating Fred, she's-"

"Having his baby?" Harry asked quietly, "I kind of figured since he ran out after Molly started talking about babies. Why didn't she tell me?"

"You haven't been around much lately, Harry," Luna frowned, "I know auror training is hard, but…"

"I've always been too busy with work or Ginny," he nodded, understanding.

"I've been busy too," Hermione whispered from behind them, making them turn around, "Work has been really hectic."

She lowered her head as both of them turned to face her, "So, you're okay with this then? You aren't mad?"

"Mad?"

"Well, Bill was," she shrugged, "He took on the whole fatherly role for me and threatened to kill Fred."

"Right," Harry said, playing with his fingers, "I didn't know you were close."

"Well, I have got more friends than just you and Ron," she teased, "I had to broaden my horizons, what with you being cooped up with Ginny and Ron moving to Stoke with Lavender to be with her family."

"Well, if Bill's got the paternal role covered, then I'll just have to be your best friend," he chuckled, "I'm so happy for you, love."

She hugged him tightly, "I don't know why I'm so upset - Fred's being a complete gentleman, he even offered for me to move in with him."

"What did you say?" Luna asked.

"I don't want to live with him yet; I really don't know him well enough for all of that, but…"

"But what?" Harry frowned, "What's bothering you?"

"I'm scared for the baby," she said softly, "If I'm on my own in my flat and something goes wrong… there's no one here to help me, no one would know."

"Oh 'Mione," Luna sighed.

"You could move in with us?" Harry asked, "Me, Luna and Sirius could do with someone who cooks so well in Grimmauld."

"I wouldn't want to impose," she bit her lip, folding her arms gently, "Would that be okay? I mean, I wouldn't be interrupting any dynamic you've got going on, would I?"

"Well, Luna sometimes has Rolf over and you might have to deal with Sirius' dirty pants from time to time, but no, we're pretty lax about most things," he shrugged, "I'd love having you there."

"Me too! Then we could be proper best friends and have sleepovers and stuff!" Luna giggled, spinning happily, "Plus, I think I can see Conelley damp in the corner of your sitting room."

"God! You know what that means," she said, chuckling at Harry's bewildered expression.

"Stagnation," they both said together, though Hermione, who was still laughing at Harry's reaction, couldn't manage to mimic the casually wise expression on Luna's face.

"What? You didn't know that I'd learnt how to speak Luna?" she furrowed her brows, thinking back to the many conversations she'd had at the Burrow and the lost faces they'd garnered, "I've been doing it for ages, ever since we started hanging out with Neville."

"Oh, I guess I have been busy then," he shrugged, before starting to help her gather her things.


End file.
